How to fart discreetly in a public place

Perhaps this has happened to you too: you farted in a public place. It is a natural process for the accumulation of gases to escape from the intestines. Therefore, whether you like it or not, there is no way to avoid it. However, most people are uncomfortable in such situations. There are ways to help reduce bad odor or the likelihood of others noticing you farted, as well as muffling loud sounds.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: How to reduce the likelihood of being noticed

Step 1. Accelerate your stride

They got it - they ran away! If you farted in public, try to leave as soon as possible.

Even if you are forced to stay in the room you are in, you can still move around the room. When there are several people in the room, it is difficult to tell who farted. If you go to another place, hardly anyone will think that you are the cause of the unpleasant smell.
If you feel that you need to release intestinal gas, do so while you are moving so that the foul odor will dissipate over a larger area and be less pronounced.
If you can, go outside if you feel like farting. Also, if you can afford to leave the premises after you farted, do so.

Step 2. Disguise the smell

Do your best to mask or reduce the odor if you've already farted in public.

Sprinkle with perfume (or cologne, if you are a man) if you have it with you at all times. In some restaurants and hotels, perfume can be found and used in the restroom. You can also use spray deodorant.
Apply a small amount of hand moisturizer that has a pleasant scent. Make it casual. In this case, a pleasant smell will come from you and others will not notice that you farted.
Even hairspray can help mask the smell if you don't have perfume on hand.

Step 3. Walk where the unpleasant odor is already present

One of the best ways to mask a bad smell is to fart where it already smells bad.

For example, let's say you're in a grocery store. You have a strong urge to fart. All you can do is walk up to the fish food department!
Another good place is the trash cans area. People may mistakenly assume that the smell is not coming from you, but from trash cans.
Also, a restroom is a good place if you feel the need to vent. Generally, people do not expect the bathroom to smell good.

Step 4. Fart when you are around a person

If you are on a date, it can be very difficult to get up and go out if you feel the need to fart. Chances are, you will do everything you can to prevent your companion from noticing this.

Follow the person and release the gases. This prevents your partner from smelling bad.
Release intestinal gases before opening the car door. This means that the smell will remain outside and not inside the enclosed vehicle.
Apologize and say that you need to go to the restroom. Most likely, your companion is unlikely to guess why you are going there.

Step 5. Squeeze your buttocks

You may be able to avoid an unpleasant situation by clenching your buttocks when you feel the need to let out gas. Alternatively, you can try to sit up when you feel like farting.

Tighten your glutes as hard as you can. If you can hold this position for a long time, you will feel relief. Fart into a pillow or something soft if you want to muffle the sound.
Tighten your glutes and lift them slightly to reduce the urge to gasp. Of course, this is difficult to do if there are a lot of people around. However, try to walk around the corner or go to the restroom to release your gases.
Release small amounts of intestinal gas at a time. This will prevent others from noticing that you are farting. Fart every 30 seconds. However, make sure that during farting, there is no involuntary release of feces. To prevent this unpleasant occurrence, empty your bowels completely when you go to the bathroom.

Method 2 of 3: Blame the other person

Step 1. Blame someone else

It is difficult to prove that another person farted and not you. However, there are ways to help transfer suspicion from yourself to another person.

Only fart if you are in a company of at least three people. You can afford to fart if there are three or more people around you.
If you are in a large company, it will be easier for you to deflect suspicion from yourself. Most importantly, fart as quietly as possible. You can blame a specific person, or you can simply say that it smells really bad and ask who did it.
Don't react until you see that others have noticed the foul smell. When you see others starting to notice the bad smell, take a moment. Show that you also hate the smell. However, do this only after others have shown it. If you blame the person too quickly, you may give yourself away by showing that you are at fault for the bad smell. Do not forget, "who smelled, he farted."

Step 2. Stand next to the right person

It may sound terrible, but if you want people to think that someone else is not the culprit for the bad smell, pick the right person and stand next to them.

For example, babies and young children will not prove that they didn’t fake it. Also, most people are not surprised if a child releases gas.
A person who is wearing dirty clothes and not always hygienic is also a good choice.
Elderly people and animals may also be suitable in this case. However, it will not be very beautiful if you try to shift your blame onto your grandmother, who did nothing.

Step 3. Confess everything

If you honestly admit that you have released intestinal gas, this will be the best solution to the problem.

Apologize and act as if nothing had happened. Even if the people around you start laughing at you, remember, very soon they will forget about everything.
You may think of Peter Griffin, a cartoon character who is known for farts in public.
Just say, “Yes, it was me. I'm sorry. I did my best to prevent this from happening, but as you can see, it didn't work out for me. " Almost everyone has experienced this situation.

Method 3 of 3: Use Noise to Mask Gas Escaping

Step 1. Release the gases in the elevator

The worst place you might feel the need to fart (other than the car) is in the elevator. If you still have an urgent need, there are ways that you can solve the problem.

Hold on until the elevator doors open. When the elevator doors are opened and closed, they make a noise.
Secondly, when the door opens, new people will enter the elevator, and those who were traveling with you will leave it.
Thus, people who have just entered the elevator will think that one of the people who left the elevator released intestinal gases (and you can also blame the person who left the elevator without worrying that he will defend his innocence). However, it is best to simply remain silent, as the large number of suspects will make it difficult to identify the culprit.

Step 2. Wait for the noise to appear

If you're worried that you might fart too loudly, wait for natural noise before releasing intestinal gas.

For example, if you are in a movie theater, wait until a scene with loud sound effects begins.
In a restaurant, wait for the clatter of dishes or the loud conversation of a couple passing by your table.
At a family event, wait for the music to play, someone makes a loud toast, or everyone starts laughing out loud.

Step 3. Try to make a loud sound yourself

Instead of waiting for others to start making loud noises, you can try doing it yourself if you feel the need to release intestinal gas.

Start coughing loudly when you release gas. Cough several times, pretending to cough, and then grab a glass of water.
Move the chair so that a loud sound is heard when it moves. If you are sitting on a vinyl chair, move in such a way that there is friction and a loud sound. Pretend that it is not you farted, but the reason lies in the creaky chair.
If circumstances permit, try singing loudly, talking a lot, sneezing, or clattering cymbals.

Step 4. Reduce gassing

If you are worried about farting in public, there are some steps you should take to reduce gas production before going outside.

A pinch of cayenne pepper mixed with a glass of water reduces gas formation. Ginger is also effective. Eat and drink slowly, avoid soda, smoke, and use antacids.
Avoid chewing gum. Chewing gum can cause excessive gas formation. Avoid foods that increase gas production, such as legumes. Gas in the gastrointestinal tract occurs when food eaten is digested.
Milk and dairy products, starchy foods such as pasta and potatoes, some fruits (prunes, peaches, apricots), some vegetables (cauliflower, peas, Brussels sprouts, asparagus) and some grains (wheat and oatmeal) cause flatulence …

Advice

Remember that this is a natural process. The release of intestinal gas is a natural phenomenon, and contrary to popular belief, girls also farts.
Don't be the first person to wonder who farted. Remember, "he who smelled, he farted."