We all lose touch with familiar people from time to time. With age, the number of acquaintances increases and it becomes simply impossible to maintain all relationships. If you have not been in touch with a person for a long time - an old friend, ex-partner or colleague, then you can call and ask about their life. At times the task seems daunting, but it's easier than it sounds. If you remembered a person, then it is very likely that he also remembers you and will be glad to your call!
Steps
Method 1 of 4: How to Prepare
Step 1. Find the number
If you haven't communicated for a long time, then the phone number could be lost. You can view the phone book and notebook. If the information is lost, then you are left with several options.
- Contact a mutual friend. Try asking a mutual friend or colleague for the number.
- Reach out to the person through the social network. If you are friends on Facebook or any other network, then write a message of this nature: “Hi, Lena! I recently thought about you. Do you still live in Samara? If you want, then call me at 111-111-1111, let's chat!”.
- Use Google. If you do not have mutual acquaintances and have lost all contacts, then try to find a person using Google. It is very likely that you will find the information you are looking for.
Step 2. Call at the appropriate time
If you know when a person is free, then call him at such a time. If you are not sure, then do not call early in the morning or after nine in the evening. It is also best not to call during normal business or school hours from 9 am to 5 pm. The most suitable time to call is weekend lunch or weekday evening from 6 pm to 9 pm.
Step 3. Introduce yourself
Say hello and introduce yourself. If you have not communicated for a long time, then the person is not waiting for your call. Also, he may not know your new number. Say: “Hello, Grisha, how are you? This is Nikolai from Ryazan!”.
You can also remind where you know each other. If you have lost touch for a long time, then it is possible that your interlocutor has new acquaintances with the same name. Remind you of what connected you in the past so that it is easier for the person to remember
Step 4. Tell me why you remembered the interlocutor
There is always a reason that prompted you to pick up the phone and call. If this is not a specific reason, then describe the whole situation. Your call will be less unexpected if you say something like the following:
- “I reread the book you gave me last year and decided to call!”
- “A couple of days ago, I suddenly remembered how long we hadn't communicated.”
Step 5. Apologize (if necessary)
Sometimes we lose touch with people. If you want to resume communication or believe that you are partially to blame for the situation, then admit your guilt.
- Say: “I’m sorry that I never called you after the wedding!”.
- One apology is enough. Don't repeat yourself so as not to embarrass the person.
Method 2 of 4: How to start a conversation
Step 1. Ask how the person is doing
Just ask, "What's new with you?" This question allows the person to share life events with you. Don't worry about what to say next. Listen carefully to the interlocutor.
Step 2. Ask questions
You will probably be interested in the story of a friend, and you will want to know more. Ask questions to keep the conversation going.
- For example, if your friend said that he works at the university, then ask what subject he teaches.
- If nothing comes to mind, then ask about something from a shared past. For example, if you were friends with a person at school, then find out which old friend he is talking to.
Step 3. Tell us about your life
After listening to the story of the interlocutor, share the details from your life. Talk about work, school, or important events. You can think of your pet or new hobby.
For example, say, “I recently moved to Sochi and got a job at a bank.”
Step 4. State the reason why you are calling
Perhaps your call is related to a specific case. For example, you want to ask for a favor or find out information of interest. If you are calling for a reason, then now is the time to say so. If you just want to re-establish communication, then continue the conversation.
Step 5. Indulge in memories
Shared memories are a great topic of conversation with old acquaintances. Talk about past events, common acquaintances, or memorable places.
- For example, if you were friends as a child, say, “I remember how we decided to make raspberry pie.”
- It is best to indulge in joyful memories, but you can also remember how the person helped you. For example, say, “Your support helped me a lot after my father died.”
Step 6. Smile
Try to smile as you talk. Many people don't smile when they are on the phone, but smiling makes your voice sound friendly and supportive. The person cannot see your face, so your tone of voice is very important. It allows you to understand how happy you are with this conversation.
Step 7. Avoid unpleasant topics
Don't ask awkward questions or talk about things that might be embarrassing. Be vigilant when calling your former romantic partner.
Questions like "How's that guy you left me for?" do not facilitate good conversation
Step 8. Don't talk too long
You are probably very happy to talk to the person, but do not talk for too long. It is not known what he is doing now and what he may have to do. It is not necessary to devote the interlocutor to every little thing that has happened to you since the last conversation. You can always talk again.
Fifteen minutes should be enough. If the interlocutor shows a sincere interest in the conversation, then talk to your heart's content
Method 3 of 4: How to end a conversation
Step 1. Say that you were happy to talk to
If you feel that the conversation is coming to an end or it is time for one of you to go, then say “I was very glad to talk to you” or “I am so glad that we are in touch again”. Show the person that you are happy to be with them.
Step 2. Schedule a meeting
After the conversation, you may want to meet the person. In this case, say: "It would be nice to meet somehow." You can suggest a more specific option to meet for lunch or a cup of coffee.
Step 3. Agree to call
If you do not want to meet with your interlocutor or live in different cities, but want to communicate periodically, then say: "Call, do not disappear." You can also say more specifically: “I'll call you again next week” or “We'll call you when I get back from vacation. I'll tell you how it went!”.
Step 4. Say goodbye
After saying how happy you were to speak, say goodbye to the person. Since the conversation has come to an end, it is enough to say something simple. Even the words “Well, see you soon. Take care of yourself”will be enough.
Method 4 of 4: Leaving a message
Step 1. Say hello and introduce yourself
It is possible that the person is busy right now and cannot receive your call. Leave a message on the answering machine. Start by greeting, as you would in a normal conversation, and then introduce yourself.
Say: “Hi, Maxim, this is Katya from a technical college!”
Step 2. Express hope that the person is doing well
Introduce yourself and say “I hope you are doing well” or “I hope that you and Marina are doing great”. Be involved and replace the question “How are you?” With such words, which is not appropriate in the message.
Step 3. State the reason for the call
If your call is caused by a specific reason, for example, a request for a service or a question, then tell us about it in the message. If you just want to chat, then say: "I recently thought about you and thought that we have not called each other for a long time." You don't have to tell the whole story. It's enough just to share your thoughts.
Step 4. Tell us about yourself
Share the news in a few phrases. Tell us what has happened in your life since the last conversation. Do not go into details, otherwise the person may think that you just wanted to talk about yourself.
For example, say, “I'm fine. I recently found a new job at a newspaper and started playing tennis again.”
Step 5. Ask to call back
Say that you would like to chat and ask to call back. Also state your phone number and convenient time to call back.
Say: “Call me when the time is right! I will be glad to talk. Usually in the evenings I'm not busy with anything, so feel free to call. "
Step 6. Say goodbye
Say goodbye briefly after providing your contact information. Say “Hope to talk soon, bye” to complete the message.
Advice
- Before calling, take a few deep breaths to stop worrying.
- Speak clearly and loudly, especially when leaving a message on your answering machine.
- If it seems that the person is not very happy to hear you, then do not take it personally. All people change. Some people think that there is no point in maintaining a relationship without the opportunity to meet.
- If your relationship hasn't been easy, it's perfectly normal to get a little anxious, especially when talking to a former romantic partner.