For success in many professions, personal acquaintances are often more important than existing knowledge. Therefore, looking for business or useful contacts is an important aspect of career development. Learn to meet the right people to find opportunities, get interviews, and even find jobs.
Part 1 of 3: Highlights
Step 1. Start with an existing circle of acquaintances
As a first step, remind old friends, distant relatives, classmates, and classmates of yourself. This will temporarily save you the trouble of looking for an approach to strangers. Start with a group of people close enough and only then move on to those with whom you have not communicated at all before.
Step 2. Determine the desired acquaintances
A beginner or an established professional understands the value of their time. Try to think selectively and discerningly, because it is in your best interest. Confidently approach the person you need, reach out and introduce yourself. It is not always easy, but with experience this direct approach will be the easiest.
- Act with confidence to convince yourself of confidence. Often, the most sociable people are not as confident in themselves as they might seem from the outside. They have learned to express confidence. In time, pretense will become a reality. This kind of self-hypnosis really works.
- This is sometimes referred to as the "host mentality." The person puts the interlocutor first and tries to please him. Taking this unusual step gives you a sense of power and allows you to relax.
3 Prepare a short story about yourself. A short presentation allows you to quickly describe yourself from a professional side - for example, during a short conversation in an elevator. This is not a speech that needs to be remembered, but some general theses, on the basis of which the story can be adapted to a specific situation. For example:
“I graduated from the Faculty of Biology of Moscow State University. My specialization is anthropogenic impact on the animal world. Now I am leading a campaign to protect snow leopards and Amur tigers. "
Step 4. Learn to have casual conversations
Any interesting conversation often begins with a casual exchange of remarks. They allow the interlocutors to "probe the soil." There is an opinion that conversation is a staircase, and small talk plays the role of the first step. Don't worry if the first step is difficult at first. Smile, remain confident, and listen carefully to the other person.
- Find a topic for discussion. People always have something in common: education, a mutual friend, or a hobby like mountaineering. You will need to ask questions first, but if successful, things will turn out in the best possible way.
- Tell us something about yourself in the context of the general topic. Asking questions is good, but the conversation should be two-way, so both people should share information.
- Motivate the person to continue their story. After a short exchange of courtesies, again search for relevant questions on the topic or share your own experience.
Step 5. Don't be afraid to go deeper into the topic
If the conversation does not go further than the first steps of the ladder, then you risk not being remembered by the person and remaining one more person from dozens of random interlocutors. To stand out, you need to go beyond superficial cues and share something that will allow the person to remember you.
One popular blogger recommends talking about a hobby or problem. Obviously, personal hobbies will turn out to be a less risky topic, but don't be afraid to show empathy for the person if they share a personal or work problem with you
Step 6. Think twice about your words
In casual conversation, it's okay to adjust to the pace of the conversation and be wary of awkward pauses. If we start to make sure to keep up with the conversation, we often forget to listen carefully to the interlocutor and think about meaningful answers.
- Don't be afraid to pause for a couple of seconds and think about your words. In fact, the pause will not seem to the interlocutor as endless as it seems to you. If you subsequently utter a deep thought, then the risk will pay off many times over.
- One American journalist described the respect he has for a friend when he ponders his words for a long time: “If most of us (especially influential people) feel the same need to have a ready answer to any question (after all, this is what interviews and personal development gurus teach us), which makes us "pour water" and make hasty conclusions, then Fred is never in a hurry. After your question, he takes a short pause. Sometimes not so small. Sometimes the silence starts to embarrass me. He ponders his answer carefully. Then it issues a conclusion that is three times higher than your wildest expectations. "
Step 7. Consider dating search from the point of view of "How can I be of help to the person?" Sometimes people think that the search for useful acquaintances is a manifestation of selfishness, since some people perceive the process as a means to an end, and not the goal itself. This is one possible, but too superficial view of the situation. In contrast, try to approach the matter first with the thought of what exactly you can do to help the person. If you are sincerely trying to help people, then they will want to reciprocate you. Hence, mutual aid has good intentions.
Step 8. Assess the person's circle of acquaintances
When talking with people, seek to find out what they do for a living and how they rest, including work and hobbies of their spouses or partners, relatives or close friends. Try to mark this information in your address book so you don't forget anything.
- Let's say you met Masha at a book club and found out that her cousin is windsurfing. A few months later, your nephew announces that he wants to learn how to sail on a board. Find Masha's phone, make a call and see if her brother can give a private lesson to your nephew as a birthday present. Masha gives you a positive answer and convinces her brother to make a discount for his acquaintance. The nephew is delighted. A month later, your car breaks down, and you remember that your nephew works in a car repair shop …
- Look for extroverts. In the process of looking for useful acquaintances, you will find that some people have done better than you - they already know everyone in the world! First of all, it is important to get to know these people, because they can introduce you to those who share your goals and hobbies. In other words, introverts should look for extroverts who "organize everything."
Step 9. If successful, ask for a business card and say that you will be happy to continue the conversation
After a pleasant conversation, exchange of views, or sympathy for an obnoxious boss, don't be afraid to say that you enjoyed the conversation. For example, say, “I'm happy to have this conversation. You come across as a highly knowledgeable and respected person. How do you feel about meeting again?"
Step 10. Don't get lost
There is no point in taking a business card or email address to forget about them. Stay connected with the person. Maintain your connections as they resemble a tree: without nourishment, they die off. Give people the attention they need.
- For example, share with a person articles that may be of interest to him. If you find out about an approaching tornado, riots or power outages nearby, then call and see if the person is all right.
- Write down all birthdays in the calendar and don't forget to send cards to your friends. You should be mindful of people so that they don't forget about you too.
Part 2 of 3: Online Business Dating
Step 1. Be active on the Internet
Why not make good friends while playing chess online or looking for information about your husband's autoimmune disorder on an internet forum? The Internet greatly simplifies the task of meeting like-minded groups. Follow forums, bulletins, announcements and mailing lists to stay up-to-date with local events or meetings attended by people with your interests, hobbies, or occupations.
Step 2. Learn about people you admire or who hold interesting positions
On the Internet, you can easily find information about famous (and not so) people. Collect information from search engines or refer to them on social networks, which are more and more time spent today. Reasons to study:
- It will be helpful for you to learn about the different career development opportunities. Study other people to discover all the different ways to become an advertiser or salesperson.
- It will be useful for you to find out about the person's personal life for further attempts at dating.
Step 3. Arrange an informational interview
This is an informal meeting with a professional to discuss work issues and exchange ideas. You can meet for a cup of coffee after work or have a Skype conversation during lunch. The duration of the conversation usually does not exceed 30 minutes, and the invoice in the cafe is paid by the initiator of the meeting.
- An informational interview is an opportunity to get to know a person better, as well as develop the skills to ask competent questions and listen to answers. Perhaps you will make such an impression on the person that he decides to offer you a job. For many, this is more convenient than taking risks with a resume.
- After the interview, thank you and ask for the names of three more people with whom you will find it helpful to speak. Contact them and tell them who gave you the recommendations.
Step 4. Periodically review the list of acquaintances
Whenever you need anything (a job, a date or a travel partner), try using your contacts. Make a few calls or send a friendly email describing the situation: “Hi, I'm having a little trouble. I have two tickets to the concert on Saturday, but no one to go with. This is one of my favorite bands, so I would like to go to a concert with someone who will be interested in it. Do you have anyone in mind?"
Never apologize for asking for help or service. She can betray your lack of confidence and professionalism. You have nothing to apologize for - you are just trying to find out who can help you, not making demands or forcing people
Step 5. Never limit yourself to chatting on the Internet
You can meet wonderful people online, but for a successful result, such acquaintances must end with face-to-face meetings. A joint lunch, coffee or stronger drinks will allow you to get to know each other better. You can also do things of common interest together. If you know a man from the cavers club, why not invite him on a joint tour along a new route? The point is to establish more intimate communication than messaging on the web. For this, it is advisable to meet in person.
Part 3 of 3: Necessity and Motives
Step 1. Break your stereotypes
If you are reading this article, then you are probably familiar with the various benefits of useful links. You may have avoided dating for any reason (even for a number of reasons!) And preferred the easier way out. Get rid of stereotypes! Don't justify your fears. Try to believe in yourself and understand that people make useful connections from good and meaningful motives.
Step 2. Don't view dating as insincere, fake behavior and manipulation
You should understand that this happens sometimes. Some people see useful connections as a superficial process and mindlessly take advantage of others to their advantage. But at the same time, there are people who strive to build a sincere and mutually beneficial relationship. Some want to do noble deeds out of a desire to help others. Many people enjoy the sense of community that a wide circle of acquaintances brings, as well as the idea of mutual help.
In the process of dating, you will have to weed out people who only think of themselves in order to find really good people. This is an essential aspect of dating, but the good news is that with experience, you will learn to better understand people before you meet them
Step 3: don't feel too shy or shy.
It really takes a certain amount of courage to look for dating. Today, with the advent of sites for expanding the circle of acquaintances, it is possible to find people with similar interests and goals, even from a distance.
Shy and shy people often become more open and outgoing if they say or do something they are extremely interested in. Look for people who are as passionate about bird learning, origami, or manga comics as you are to help you find common ground
Step 4. Don't believe in the legend that finding useful connections takes a lot of time and effort
Such a task can be tiring unless you are an extrovert who loves to chat. Why then strain? Yes, the search process takes time and effort, but it can also significantly save time and effort in the future. Just imagine how much less anxiety and time you would have had to spend if what you wanted or needed were within one or two phone calls from you. Finding dating is an investment where the profit outweighs the initial cost. Just stay on track and watch your growth.
Step 5. Keep looking for new acquaintances to grow above yourself
Surely you want to develop as a person. Dating helps improve communication skills, which is a valuable asset. You will learn to be interested, listen, and be humble, born of a desire to help others. Even personal development in itself will be quite a significant reward. This will make you the best version of yourself.
- It is always helpful to be open and charming. It will soon be much easier for you to strike up a conversation with a stranger.
- Start small. Don't schedule 12 appointments in a month. Continuous effort over time is better than a single burst of activity and subsequent burnout. Remember that the connections you have acquired need to be maintained, so do not overestimate your strengths.
- Make connections with politicians and their aides by volunteering in elections or participating in the life of a party.
- Use all the available opportunities of the Internet to expand your circle of acquaintances in the real world. For example, messaging apps are sometimes more convenient than calls. Also, the Internet allows you to meet and keep in touch with people from all over the world.
- Can't find your local club or hobby group? Create your club!
- If you are starting a personal business, then it will be doubly useful for you to meet other entrepreneurs.