An egoist is the type of person who must always be right in the end. He is unable to accept someone else's point of view. They all love to talk about themselves. As a rule, such people love to criticize, are very hot-tempered and strive to get all the glory for themselves. The selfish will make your life miserable, but with just a few psychological tricks, you can fight back the narcissistic fool at work, school, and even at home.
Method 1 of 2: Deal with the selfish workplace
Step 1. Change your approach
There is no need to constantly confront this person. The situation is complicated when you are dealing with a work colleague, but you need to remain calm and diplomatic in order to maintain prudence and the same level of performance.
Gently end the conversation as soon as you sense an impending avalanche of self-praise, eliminate eye contact, answer in monosyllables, and pretend you are not interested or bored
Step 2. Maintain a sense of self-confidence
Even if the egomaniac convinces that he can walk on water, this does not become true. It will be much easier for you to cope with his self-esteem if you remind yourself that you are a gifted and successful person.
A selfish boss is unlikely to provide support and encouragement at the right time, so you will have to look elsewhere for a mentor
Step 3. Do not feed his pride with praise and approval
An egomaniac is actually a very insecure person who craves recognition and attention. Do not be the person who helps him (her) to assert in their own worth. Instead, pat the shoulder approvingly in a pitiful manner, which will make him back down and acknowledge your superiority.
Step 4. Check your own ego
When you are confronted with another person’s demand to acknowledge their worth, your own pride can get the better of you. Is this person really worth the time and effort?
Do not allow yourself to be drawn into an argument or boring conversation about the latest exploits of an egoist
Step 5. Manage the needs of subordinates
If you are in a leadership position and one of your subordinates is egomaniac, provide him with options that will temper his need to assert himself or challenge you. Focus on the positive aspects and redirect his efforts towards finding a solution.
In addition, you can try to finish him off with your, so to speak, kindness. The strategically correct use of praise and compliments will be a great incentive for the narcissistic employee
Method 2 of 2: Deal with the egomaniac in personal relationships
Step 1. Recognize harmful friendships
If you have been friends for a long time, then it is difficult to understand that the personality of an egomaniac does not really have any unique characteristics in comparison with other people. He's just obsessed with himself. Often, selfish people are the soul of the company, so many guys, at least at the initial stage, are drawn to them.
It's time to change something if your friend isn't interested in your life or doesn't give you a chance to speak up
Step 2. In a calm manner, tell the egomaniac about your feelings
Let them know that their behavior is offending you and that you want to make more space in the relationship for personal needs and feelings. You can say: "I am worried about you and our friendship, but I noticed that we spend a lot of time talking about your feelings, and I would also like to share personal experiences, but for this it is necessary that you can listen."
There are a large number of selfish individuals among us, and some of them are more malleable than others, so it is quite possible to fix the situation if you point out to a friend the causes of the problem
Step 3. Break off the relationship if a self-centered friend ignores your worries or has a negative impact on your life
You are not required to maintain friendships that are detrimental to your happiness and well-being. If it seems to you that the relationship has already passed into the category of destructive, then in this case, you should cut off all ties and get rid of the feeling of guilt.
Step 4. Change your behavior and focus on yourself if your spouse is egomaniac
Narcissism in intimate relationships leads to tremendous frustration. An egoist is not able to empathize, so his partner feels unloved and alone.
- Think about what needs you fulfill when you are in a relationship with an egoist. This is often accompanied by a lack of self-esteem and codependency.
- Analyze your own childhood. A narcissistic parent may have taught you to deny your own needs to cater to others' needs.
- Take control of the situation, start respecting yourself, and work on your self-esteem.
- Engage in activities that you enjoy, be it reading, gardening, or watching your favorite movies. Remember that your opinion in this life also matters.
- If your partner is overwhelmed by another wave of egocentricity, calmly tell him: "I understand that you are really inspired by your idea, but I have already listened to you. And now I would like you to listen to some of my comments that I want to share" or: " When you interrupt and ignore my statements, I get the feeling that you do not care about me. I need you to listen to me carefully. "
- Treat your partner as an equal, not superior to you.
- Family therapy is an excellent solution to this problem.
Step 5. Seek help if you are in a restrictive, manipulative, or abusive relationship
Selfishness often manifests itself in the form of excessive narcissism or arrogance, which is annoying and disgusting. But few people go to extremes in their narcissism and actually suffer from a psychological disorder (called Narcissistic Personality Disorder, NRL).
True narcissism manifests itself in the form of an extremely abusive demeanor of the individual. It is necessary to recognize such signs and provide timely assistance
Step 6. Take a worthy place in the family relationship with the narcissistic person
The egomaniac affects all the people around him, especially at home. The spouse suffers, and the children grow up in a constant sense of their own inferiority, and, ultimately, they also become narcissistic.
- Professional advice is needed when a selfish parent harms the self-esteem of the rest of the family. Since the abuser is difficult to sit in a therapy chair, family members are quite capable of helping him.
- Work hard to establish a framework for yourself and your children.
- Don't hope that the egomaniac will change without the help of a specialist, so set realistic goals for yourself.
- Express your sincere admiration if necessary. Pay attention to the qualities that you truly admire.
- In especially advanced cases, narcissism becomes really dangerous.
- Some signs point to an aggressive and violent personality, namely: an overwhelming need to protect or encourage your own ego; lack of respect for the framework of decency; lack of empathy; the existence of justification for all their actions, regardless of their harmful consequences.