If you are a Facebook user and you are “socially persecuted” (stalking), then this may not be the easiest situation, because Facebook connections are friends. In other words, getting rid of such stalkers is not always easy. You are not happy with their presence in your social life, and at the same time, they do not understand it. That being said, you don't want to sound rude. In any case, you shouldn't put up with it; read on to find out how to fix this problem.
Almost all of the steps in this article are not a crude way to solve the stalking problem. Keep in mind that if you are not just feeling annoyed and unpleasant, but fearful or anxious, then social harassment on Facebook has become something more serious and must be addressed as soon as possible; this situation is discussed at the end of the article.
Step 1. Understand what Facebook stalking is
At that moment, when the harassment on Facebook is not physical, for example, as in real life, but the feeling it causes is very similar to the real one.
Internet stalking is a way of showing special attention to your person (it does not matter whether you realize it or not), in particular to your actions, comments and updates
Step 2. In fact, be honest and say you don't like their comments and explain why
Perhaps they will appreciate your sincerity. Instead of sneering around.
Step 3. Think about the nature of stalking
The reason why you are being persecuted is very important; you should understand that there is a difference between family or friends who check your activity, because they are not indifferent to it, and the person who monitors every action on your part, commenting on them.
- Existing research work - University of Missouri, Professor Kevin Wise, has shown that the normal way to view someone's page is generally to view news and updates in your life, while at the same time viewing other people's pages i.e. they include you in the circle of friends. On the other hand, there is the concept of "social search" - this is when people view only your page, your updates, photos and comments; in other words, this person is acting as if they were obsessed with your personality.
- A person with such an obsession reacts differently to ordinary information. His / her opinion of what he / she sees is much stronger than that of other people. This means that if there is such a person in your social life, then perhaps he is misinterpreting the meaning of the information that he is viewing.
Step 4. Check for signs of stalking
Here are some of them (depending on the person and what's on their mind):
- Does this person not leave you alone, ignoring requests not to send you messages, not leave comments on your wall or send gifts from the Farmville game?
- Does this person leave a lot of comments that you need to see each other more or spend your life together (and you are not in a relationship)?
- Are you receiving a lot of rude and indecent messages (swearing or sexual harassment)?
- Do they "run over" or scare you? For example, has someone uploaded rude, private, or indecent photos of you (or photos of people close to you)?
- Or someone does not leave you alone, for example, posts new information, writes and constantly breaks into your social life? And at the same time, he is not rude, does not lose calm and does not threaten - such endless behavior very often means obsession.
Step 5. Think about your own perception of stalking on Facebook
If a person constantly follows you, writes messages when you are online, sends messages all the time, always comments, likes all your updates, does not leave you alone, then you may feel annoyed and disappointed in a difficult situation and tired of all this persecution. Even if it does happen from time to time, you may find yourself in a situation where everything they say can cause you inconvenience.
- Think about your own feelings before worrying about the feelings of others. Do you feel like you are socially harassed because of what they say or do? Do you feel like someone is obsessed with you (maybe they really like you, or vice versa)?
- Are you feeling overwhelmed, confused, annoyed by constant posts and messages? This is enough to start looking for a solution to this problem.
Step 6. Answer
Given that you do not feel in danger (see Step 11), try to respond kindly. Think about the fact that this person does not realize that his actions are stressing you. Try to use constructive communication before taking the problem seriously. After all, you don't need drama; By answering a person rudely or not understanding his / her motives, you will end up in a situation where this person and the other 10 will be discussing this picture. Assume the best and respond kindly, in the end you are left with all sorts of options for solving this problem if the first method does not work.
- Say, “Hi Ah! Do you know that no one besides you posts messages on my wall every hour? I don’t really like this, and I would appreciate it if you relax your enthusiasm, for example, by sending one message a day. Do you think this is possible? "
- A close friend, boyfriend or girlfriend, or family member may also be such a person, it may seem natural to them. Talk to them in the same way, and if the conversation doesn't work, then talk to other family members or friends for support.
Step 7. Try to answer briefly or not answer at all
If they comment on the photo, complimenting and suggesting a meeting, then say, “Thank you,” that's enough. If you receive long messages, then answer "ok" or "heh", this way you show your disinterest in the conversation. As a result, you hint to the person that you are not interested in communicating with him / her, or even annoying.
Step 8. Use more open hints
More obvious hints may be enough to make a person feel ashamed in front of the online community around them. For example, attach their name to a post and say, "I love it so much that (person's name) constantly comments and likes all my updates!" This is not rude and makes it clear that you have noticed his / her behavior and you do not like it at all. Just be careful, they might think you are grateful and say thank you for their attention.
- You can try posting on their wall: “Please do not comment on regular posts on my wall. There is nothing special about them! " This way you are not rude, but at the same time make it clear that you do not like such comments.
- If you can't get rid of them, then try to play along with them. If he or she is a Facebook friend with whom you are not familiar but who constantly comments and likes your posts, then try commenting and “liking” his / her posts as well. Perhaps you will become good friends in the future! It's about the phrase, "don't think badly of people." Maybe online friendships can grow into something more, but only if you try!
Step 9. Once again ask them to stop
More convincing this time. When it starts to play on your nerves, and you are very tired of this behavior - ask to stop, but this time more convincingly. Send a message and say that constant comments and posts are not normal and that you do not want constant attention to your activity. For example:
"Hi Ah! I want to add to my previous post so that you reduce the number of posts and comments on my wall; in fact, most of my updates are not that interesting. I was hoping you understood my previous request, and now I I want to ask you to stop. I won't read or reply to your messages anyway, so it's best to stop this. " If you want, you can intimidate with a blocking
Step 10. If they do not understand your hints and open texts, then consider how to block them
There are two methods. First, tell them about it, and then look at how things go - maybe they will calm down. Use this method if you think it will help and will not complicate the situation. Second, just block and don't warn; if you've given enough hints, they are unlikely to be surprised.
You can block a friend in the privacy settings. Click on "Customize" and "Posts by Me". Click "Customize" again and block them from viewing your wall
Step 11. Tell your friends
It's important that your friends are aware of what's going on, especially if the person is a mutual friend. If they support you and understand you, they will probably do the same. This will be the right decision for several reasons, firstly, your friends can help in resolving the conflict; or, if the person you blocked tries to take revenge, it will be important that mutual friends are aware of what is happening.
- Understand that some possessed people do not realize that they are uncomfortable for you. In some cases, they may think that they were very friendly and attentive to you, and as a result of blocking, they may take this to heart, and even try to ruin your reputation.
- Also, you can complain to Facebook technical support. This will draw the attention of the Facebook Harassment Prevention Team, which may block their account or even contact their ISP.
Step 12. If you are truly scared, offended or afraid of another person in your social life on Facebook, then urgently seek help
Talk to parents, friends, teachers, and others. Tell them what's going on in your life. Actions that can scare or threaten are as real online as they are offline. You don't have to go through this alone, and the sooner you talk to someone about it, the sooner you can sort it out.
Do not close your eyes to threats of violence against you or your property. This is the police case, contact them
- Never answer a stalker. You only flatter them. Report them to Facebook. If Facebook is not helping, then the legal authorities. Save your correspondence details. Print messages, mail, information from the wall, save dates and times.
- It's recommended not to add people you don't like. Even if they are popular or friends of your friends, this does not mean that you will get along. Sometimes, such people will create a negative atmosphere in your social life: commenting on your messages, updates and putting "likes" where it is not necessary, for example, "my phone is broken", thereby creating drama. Avoid people like that.
- It is recommended that you only add people if you consider them friends or people you know in real life. Thus, you will exclude stalkers from your social activities.
- If it's a friend, boyfriend or girlfriend, family member, talk to them face to face.
- If this is someone from the school whom you don't know very well, then try not to make an elephant out of a fly! They may not have chosen the best way to make friends with you. But, if they are acting weird, making bad and good comments, then ask them what the matter is.
- If there is such a need, then block them. Even if you don’t feel like it, sometimes it’s necessary. they don't stop annoying activity. In fact, this is self-defense, during which they may calm down.
- Don't put up with people who abuse Facebook. Think about your feelings and activities. If you are constantly upset or annoyed with other people's behavior, then don't put up with it - there will be no end to it.
- Don't judge people in a hurry. Perhaps this person does not know or does not understand how to behave in a social network. On the other hand, if you feel in danger or in fear, then do not close your eyes to it - ask someone for help - even just talking about it can help with understanding this issue.