So, you are looking for an opportunity to meet someone. Email, dating sites, and instant messaging apps can help you connect with friends and family, but it's also very difficult to get to know a new person if you've never met them face-to-face. More and more people find their friends, partners and spouses on the Internet. The problem is that with this method of communication, everyone involved feels a little uncomfortable. Be interested, but not assertive; relax and try to just be yourself.
Method 1 of 3: Melt the ice
Step 1. Don't think too much about it
If you are trying to get to know someone (and possibly flirt), then the goal of the first few online conversations will be to present yourself as a person. In the story about yourself, do not forget to mention all the important events from your life up to the present moment.
- Making an impression on someone through online conversation will be a daunting task for almost all of you. But you are not the first or the last.
- In the worst case, you will get a life experience, and in the best you will find a person with whom you can communicate heart to heart. However, you will have to try to get any of these results.
Step 2. Choose a convenient time
Try to write to the person when they are online. It is easier to communicate over the Internet when it happens in real time, rather than constantly waiting for a response message.
Pick a time when you are in no hurry. So communication will not be limited by the time frame, and he will have the opportunity to develop freely
Step 3. Start small
Send the person a message asking what they are doing at the moment. "Hi what are you doing?" is fine. Once the conversation starts, you will feel more at ease, because there is no turning back!
- Most likely, the person will write about what he is doing at the moment and will ask you a similar question. Be prepared to provide an answer.
- Avoid dead-end answers such as "I'm fine." Anyone can write that he is "doing well." Answer so that at the same time tell your interlocutor a little more about yourself, for example, like this: "I'm fine! My friend and I examined an abandoned house in the mountains today. It was very cool and very scary" or "My dance group just won at the competition. I'm so happy about that! "
- Mention the things you are interested in, but avoid bragging.
Step 4. Find out about possible common interests
This is the classic, proven way. If you are in the same class, then ask a question about your homework. If you are a member of the same club, then you can ask about an upcoming club event. This will help break the ice in the most natural way possible and open the way for deeper communication.
- Try something like this: "Hi. I got bogged down today and completely forgot to write down my English homework. Did you accidentally write it down?"
- Or like this: "Hi, do you know when we have the next training session? I got distracted when the coach was talking about what time the class will be today …"
Step 5. Compliment
If a person is worthy of praise, then it will be a completely natural desire to compliment him. This is another great way to break the ice and make a person feel at their best. Don't overdo it: Overly generous compliments can look like flattery.
- If you're in the same class: "I really enjoyed your presentation today! I've never learned so much about Willis Grant before!"
- If you are on the same team: "You did a great attack in today's match. You really pulled the whole team."
Step 6. Ask a question
If you find someone on a dating site like OKCupid or through the Tinder app, chances are you won't have any life leads to start a conversation with. Ask the person a generalized question. Find the subject of the question in the information from the profile of the interlocutor.
- For example: "I see you do hip-hop. Will there be some good show soon? "
- Or like this: "I grow a beard too. How much time did you take to grow yours?"
Step 7. Be careful with pick-up tricks
A pickup truck has two sides: it can attract the attention of some, but at the same time alienate others. Pickup tricks can be perceived as manipulation attempts, especially if your behavior is at odds with what you really are. Try to stay real, but still use pick-up tricks, and then you will succeed!
Method 2 of 3: Continuing the conversation
Step 1. Be attentive and sympathetic in communication
Read carefully and answer. Communication is based on the acceptance of some signals from a person and the production of appropriate reactions in response. When communicating with a person, keep an eye on the content of the conversation and what it is leading you to.
In this regard, it is even easier to communicate with people than live. If necessary, you can simply scroll up the history of the correspondence, and refresh a certain detail in your memory
Step 2. Ask questions
Take a courteous interest in the person you are talking to. It is scientifically proven that people love to talk about themselves. Most likely, a person has a story to tell if the questions you ask relate to his life.
- Ask questions, the answer to which leads to other questions. You might ask, "By the way, what kind of music do you like?" and he will answer "I love all kinds of music, a little bit of everything: rock, pop, punk. I often go to local concerts." It is worth reacting to this with the question "Will there be any good concerts in the near future?"
- Avoid closed-ended questions that can be answered unambiguously "yes" or "no." A simple yes / no answer can break the conversation around a particular question. If you ask questions like this, then be prepared to attach clarifying questions to them.
Step 3. Don't be boring
Be respectful about sensitive topics. To do this, you need to use your intuition, but at the same time adhere to the following rule: do not ask anyone questions that you yourself would not answer.
Step 4. Make questions out of your answers
This is a good way to rock the conversation, and you need to stop using it immediately if you want to end the conversation. When sending a message, try adding a question at the end of each thought to which you want to receive an answer from your interlocutor.
- Imagine that communication is a kwacha game. It is good that you caught the ball, but to continue playing it must be thrown again to another person.
- Don't just say, "I had a good day. I think I did well on my math exam!", or better answer "I had a good day. I think I wrote a good exam in math! How was your day?"
Step 5. Don't be afraid to talk about yourself
It is very important to be able to maintain a balance here. If you talk primarily about yourself and dominate the conversation, this can be perceived as a manifestation of narcissism and selfishness. If you generally avoid answering questions about yourself, then you will look like a riddle person.
- Be honest. Do not weave yourself into a web of lies, trying to look like who you are not really, because the truth can be revealed after a while. Sooner or later, everything secret becomes apparent.
- Answer the questions that your interlocutor asks, but at the same time ask a counter question about him. If, for example, the interlocutor asked a question about your dog, then you should answer something like this: "Yes, I call her Count. He is a collie breed. We rescued him from the shelter three years ago, and now he is a member of our family. do you have pets? "
Step 6. Use emoticons and stickers, but don't overuse them
Emoticons such as ":)" and ": 3" can give your words a certain emotion and flavor, which is very important when communicating with a person via the Internet. They give the other person the opportunity to feel your emotions and make the conversation more friendly. However, emoticons can also directly express feelings, for example, if someone sends you a large number of emoticons, then this is a clear sign of sympathy.
- There is nothing wrong with showing your feelings, but it all depends on the situation, which can have undesirable consequences due to the use of emoticons. Be careful when using emoticons, and consider how the other person might perceive them.
- Use ":)" if you want to subtly hint to a person that they are interested in further communication. As a rule, this emoticon is used only in those places of the text after which you would smile in real life if you said it in person:)
Step 7. Don't force communication
If a person gives you monosyllabic answers, despite your best efforts, then this may signal that the other person does not want to communicate at the moment. If the conversation gets tense, it's a good idea to continue it next time.
- This is not necessarily your fault! It can be difficult to express your feelings sometimes, especially online. Just keep in mind that sometimes a person is reluctant to communicate due to feeling unwell or being too busy at work. It is possible that he is now upset that he recently had a falling out with his parents.
- Just let the person go if you are constantly trying to connect with him and he is not interested in it. If possible, try to spend more time with this person in live communication, but only if there is a good reason for this.
- Give your interlocutor space. Nobody likes pressure. It is better to let the person go than make them feel uncomfortable.
Method 3 of 3: Ending the Communication and Scheduling the Meeting
Step 1. Speak as long as you have something to say
Perhaps communication will really exhaust itself, or you just need to go somewhere. Either way, you should say goodbye to your partner.
- Say something like "Okay. I have to go to practice. Nice talking to you! Have a nice day."
- Explain that you need to leave, even if you don't really need to go anywhere. This is an easy way to end a conversation without sounding rude.
Step 2. Don't make specific plans for further communication
Online communication happens a little differently than communication in real life. It's not that official. If your interlocutor has no problems with Internet access, then there is no need to set the next date for communication. As a last resort, you just need to say: "Let's chat some more!"
- If the conversation went well, just email the person in a day or two when you’re both online. Now the stage of acquaintance will already be considered completed. Build the conversation around the information you already have and the jokes that you exchanged during the first conversation.
- If your partner can only be online at a certain time or only in a certain place (for example, only three hours a day, or only in a public library), then it is worthwhile to make an appointment in advance for the next meeting on the Internet. Write something like "I really enjoyed chatting with you. I know you are not online right now, but how about chatting again on, say, Tuesday?"
Step 3. Be punctual
If you want to make an offline appointment, think carefully about it. In one conversation, you can learn a lot about a person, but it is far from the fact that you have been told the whole truth, as often happens on the Internet.
- Before meeting a person in person, get to know him well enough through the Internet.
- If you use dating sites such as OKCupid or Tinder, you may decide to meet the person right away or a little later. Again, it all depends on your desire. If you are dating a stranger, you must first tell your loved ones where you are going and with whom. Keep your phone with you at all times and, if possible, meet in a public place (such as a cafe) during the day.