Social media has changed not only the rules of relationships, but also behavior after a breakup. It's not so easy to break up with dignity and stop thinking about your ex when you regularly see their photos on social networks such as Facebook, Instagram or Snapchat. Sometimes, a person even follows the profile of a former partner to stay up-to-date. This behavior is detrimental to health and increases the pain of separation. Try limiting your social media contacts and distracting yourself to stop following your ex.
Steps
Part 1 of 2: How to Limit Social Media Contacts
Step 1. Taking an interest in a person's life is normal, but painful
It may seem like watching your ex on social media is stalking your ex, but this is actually completely normal post-breakup behavior. Sometimes we even want to know who the ex is dating and what they are up to, because we hope they are unhappy too. At the same time, such behavior creates a vicious circle, we reassure ourselves with other people's failures and worsen the situation.
It should be understood that if you use social networks to find out the location of your ex and then go there, then such behavior can be regarded as harassment and violation of the law. In case of such impulses, it is better to seek help from a specialist
Step 2. Block your ex on all social networks
A wide range of social media platforms like Facebook, Snapchat, Twitter, and Instagram provide people with unimaginable access to other people's lives, including those we'd rather not see. Block your ex-partner's accounts on all social networks. Perhaps the most radical way, but also the most effective.
- A former partner or mutual friends may ask about the reason for this decision. Taking this step can offend your ex or mutual friends. Try to explain that the pain of the breakup became unbearable and therefore you made this decision without intent to offend.
- An additional plus of this solution is the following: on many sites, you need to add a person as a friend again or subscribe to updates in order to follow the news. The embarrassment of having to ask for friends again will prevent you from following the person.
Step 3. Remove the person from friends or unsubscribe from updates
Use a less drastic way to deal with temptation and remove your ex from your friends or unsubscribe from updates. Thanks to this, you will stop following his page, limit your own awareness of his life, get rid of unnecessary pain.
Prepare for the same questions as with page blocking. You can use the same explanation: “Now I need to distance myself. Perhaps in the future I will subscribe to his page again, but for now I better not know what is happening in his life. "
Step 4. Customize your news feed
If you think the blocking might offend your ex or cause questions, then customize your news feed. It is enough just to hide news and other notifications about events in the life of a former partner. Some services like Facebook can even automatically hide news after a change in marital status.
Step 5. Unsubscribe from the news of mutual friends
Depending on your circle of friends, your ex may appear in statuses, location updates, and in photos in your news feed. This can be frustrating, especially if the person has found a new partner or is having a great time without you. Unsubscribe from your mutual friends' news to avoid seeing news and photos about your ex.
- Get out if you missed something and do not want the person to know that you have unsubscribed from their updates. In such situations, it is better to say, “I probably missed this post” or: “I haven’t had time to watch the news feed after work yet.”
- You can also tell your mutual friends the truth: “I feel embarrassed, but it hurts too much to see him mentioned in the news feed. I really appreciate our friendship, but for now, I’d better find out the latest news about you in person.”
Step 6. Self-control
Sometimes it's tempting to find out how the ex-partner lives. One innocent search query or viewing the news feed is enough, and now you have been tormented all night long with the question of who actually appreciated the photo of your ex-partner: a relative or a new passion? Remind yourself that it is best not to see the news about your ex to put an end to it. A little self-control in a situation like this can help you deal with emotions and other urges.
Step 7. Remove contact information from electronic devices
Many smartphones, tablets, and other devices link contacts on your phone to social media pages. Delete your ex's contact information to help reduce the temptation to follow them. Thanks to this, you will not only be able to control yourself in moments of weakness, but also get rid of any reminders of the person.
If necessary, write down the contact information on paper and put it somewhere safe so you don't see it every day. This will help you get rid of reminders and the desire to regularly follow a person's social media profiles
Part 2 of 2: How to distract yourself
Step 1. Do not forget about the reason for the gap
If you've caught yourself browsing your ex's social media pages, take a piece of paper and list the reasons your relationship didn't work out. This will allow you not to rush to conclusions and not miss a failed relationship.
Step 2. Don't mention your ex
Perhaps your relationship was very bright, and your partner managed to become an important part of your life. It's natural to talk about your partner both during and after a relationship. It is important to understand that this way you will only constantly think about him and even try to find out what he is doing. Try not to deliberately talk about your ex to distract yourself from thoughts about him.
- It's okay to think about him sometimes, especially in the context of pleasant moments. If you stop thinking about the person in front of your friends altogether, you may feel awkward. If it’s important to remember a person in order to sort out feelings, then don’t berate yourself, but don’t let this behavior become a habit.
- Ask your friends not to mention their ex in front of you. Conversations like these can awaken emotions and a desire to learn more on social media. If you have mutual friends, situations are possible when the conversation will come about your ex-partner. Better to stay out of the conversation until the topic has changed.
Step 3. Rely on your loved ones
After a breakup, a person is usually not in the best mood. Use this opportunity to get close to family and friends again. They can help you distract and provide the support you need (take away all electronic devices if necessary so you can't follow your ex on social media).
Tell your loved ones openly about your feelings. You can even admit that you followed the person on social networks. They will listen to you and give you advice or remind you that talking about your ex is hurting you. Among other things, they will come up with joint activities to distract you from unnecessary thoughts
Step 4. Appreciate your personal time
Sometimes it takes a lot of time and effort to get over a breakup. Consider yourself to distract yourself from your ex. Do things you didn't have time for before. This will help you understand that you no longer care about what happens in your ex's life.
- Get a massage or yoga class. This will allow you to focus on yourself and relax. Read books you don't have time for.
- Find new things to do. They can help you take your mind off social media and let go of pain. For example, you’ve always wanted to learn how to cook, but your ex didn’t like the idea. Take courses and learn how to cook different meals to take up all the time you could spend on social media.
Step 5. Meet new people
Try to distract yourself from thoughts of your ex and mutual friends by meeting new people. New acquaintances will allow you to have a great time and completely forget about the desire to follow a person on social networks.
- Meet people in courses or classes that interest you. For example, go jogging or visit a new café during discount hours. Group activities allow you to meet new people and forget your ex.
- Flirt with new people you know. You may not be ready to date yet, but harmless flirting will strengthen your self-confidence and distract from unnecessary thoughts.