Many people feel uncomfortable even at the mere thought of urinating in front of other people. If a person is afraid to urinate in the presence of other people, then most likely they have a paresis. Paruresis is sometimes referred to as "constricted bladder" syndrome. Parurez is on the list of social phobias along with fear of public speaking and similar disorders. In addition, this syndrome can have varying degrees of severity. Some people rarely experience fear, while others may only urinate at home.
Method 1 of 5: Make the process of urinating more comfortable in the presence of other people
Step 1. Create free space between yourself and other people
If you are uncomfortable urinating in front of other people, try to force yourself to believe that there is no one else in the restroom. To do this, take a toilet or urinal that is located at a distance from the other person, for example, choose the one that is located one way from him.
If you find it uncomfortable to urinate in front of your partner, close the toilet door while you are in it, or wait for your partner to go to another room
Step 2. Listen to music on your iPod
More often than not, people feel embarrassed when they hear the sound of urinating. However, if you do not hear this sound, you will not have to worry. When in a public toilet, use headphones to listen to music. Turn your iPod at a volume level so that you cannot hear what is happening around you.
Install a radio or speaker in your closet. Get in the habit of playing music when you go to the restroom. Music will distract you from the sound of urination. Plus, your partner won't hear what's bothering you
Step 3. Stop talking
While in a public toilet, some people do not stop talking. This is more common for men standing near urinals. If you prefer to write out of sight of other people, use a toilet stall instead of a urinal.
At home, however, you can keep talking with your partner. By doing this, you will treat urination as a natural process
Step 4. Wait until you are alone
If you are at work or in a restaurant and you have enough time, wait until there is not a single person left in the restroom. Even if it is a public toilet, you will feel more comfortable if there is no one else in it. If there is someone in the toilet, leave it and come back later.
If you don't want to wait or come back later, take your time, pretend you are fixing your makeup or need to wash your hands. When all people have left the restroom, get down to business
Step 5. Plan ahead
In crowded places (such as stadiums, arenas, conventions or shopping centers), there are usually maps that show where the restrooms are located. Sometimes such maps can be found online - on the website of a particular center. In some cities, maps of all public toilets available in city buildings, parks, and so on can be found. Before setting off, find out where there are public toilets that you can use. Thanks to this, you will avoid an unpleasant situation.
You can also go to the restrooms that you like. Some toilets are equipped with booths, partitions or are designed for one person
Step 6. Flush the toilet
Yes, the option is not the best, especially when it comes to saving natural resources, but as a last resort, you can use it. If you are nervous about the sound of urinating in a public toilet, try flushing the toilet while you urinate. The sound of water will drown out the sound of urination.
You can also wait for someone else to flush the toilet or turn on the water tap to wash your hands
Method 2 of 5: Determine if you have a pararez
Step 1. Determine if you have a cut
People with pararesis tend to be very shy and sensitive. They are afraid of criticism and words of judgment from others. Those with severe paresis may have one or more of the following symptoms:
- The need for complete privacy when using the restroom.
- Fear that other people might hear the sound of urination.
- Fear that other people might smell urine.
- Having negative thoughts when urinating (eg I'm such an idiot, I can never come here again).
- Inability to urinate in public toilets, latrines in other people's homes, or at work.
- Inability to urinate at home while someone else is in the restroom or waiting outside the restroom.
- Anxiety at the mere thought of going to the bathroom
- Avoiding drinking too much fluids for fear of having to use a public toilet.
- Avoiding travel and activities that require you to use a public toilet.
Step 2. Remember that para-cutting is not a physical problem
Not being able to urinate in front of other people is not a physical problem. People with paresis do not have problems with the kidneys, bladder, or urethra. Parurez is a neurotic problem. When a person is worried and worried, his muscles tighten and the urethral sphincter spasm occurs, which makes it impossible to urinate.
- Due to the fact that a person cannot urinate normally, he begins to experience even greater fear, and due to strong fear, the process of urinating is suspended. This creates a vicious circle.
- It is possible that a particular event in your past caused the problem.
Step 3. Make an appointment with your doctor
Although pararesis is not a physical problem, you can still have physical ailments that make your condition worse. To make sure that you do not have serious pathologies, consult your doctor.
An example of a physical ailment that can be symptomatic of paresis is prostatitis, a condition common in men
Step 4. Take the drugs prescribed by your doctor
Although pararesis is not a physical problem, your doctor may prescribe certain medications for you. He may prescribe anti-anxiety medications, antidepressants, or tranquilizers to reduce the level of anxiety you experience when urinating in the presence of other people.
- Note that these medications do not treat paresis, so it is important to get appropriate help so that you can manage without medication later on.
- In very severe cases, your doctor may recommend self-catheterization. Self-catheterization is a process in which the patient periodically empties the bladder by inserting a catheter into it through the urethra.
Method 3 of 5: Treating Parures
Step 1. Visit online communities where you can find information related to this issue
You will be able to obtain relevant information about the pararez and also enlist the necessary support. This will make it easier for you to cope with the unpleasant syndrome.
You can use the information on the website https://paruresis.ucoz.ru, which is fully devoted to the problem of paruresis
Step 2. Get support
On the site https://paruresis.ucoz.ru you can participate in the discussion of this problem. In addition, you will be able to meet people who know firsthand about this problem. You will receive useful recommendations, be able to ask a question that interests you, and learn about ways to overcome this problem.
Step 3. See a psychotherapist
There are many ways to find a qualified psychotherapist. For example, you can use the search for a psychologist, guided by reviews on the Internet. You can also ask your PCP to advise you on a psychotherapist. In addition, you can go to the neuropsychiatric clinic, where you can find the specialist you need.
Before proceeding with the treatment process, ask your therapist if they have experience with patients with pararesis
Step 4. Get cognitive behavioral therapy
In counseling sessions, a cognitive therapist helps the patient change their feelings and attitudes about public toilets and the urination process.
Step 5. Make some noise while you are in the toilet
Because people with pararesis worry that others will hear the sound they make when urinating, try masking the sound with noise while urinating. You can open the tap with water, drain the toilet, turn on the music. Choose what will be effective in your case.
Method 4 of 5: Get Systematic Desensitization
Step 1. Seek help from a psychotherapist
Although you can go through all the stages of systematic desensitization yourself, it will be easier for you to do this with the help of a therapist. The specialist will help you organize your therapy in the right way, choose the right partner who will provide you with the assistance you need, and will also discuss the results of the therapy with you.
Step 2. List the restrooms in the following order
from the simplest to the most inconvenient for you. To start therapy, you need to make a list of different restrooms. There should be different toilets on this list, the ones in which you feel comfortable, as well as those in which you are very uncomfortable. Arrange the restrooms that are on your list based on the discomfort you are experiencing - from the minimum to the maximum.
Step 3. Choose a partner who will support you
Since the main problem is peeing in front of other people, you need to enlist the help of a friend or relative to help you overcome the problem.
Step 4. Start with your own toilet
Chances are, the toilet in your house or apartment is a place where you don't feel discomfort. Since you are comfortable in your closet, all you have to do is accept your partner's presence.
- Pee in the presence of your partner who is next to you. Pee for a few seconds and then stop.
- Wait a few minutes and then go back to the toilet. This time, your partner should be closer to you. Pee again for a few seconds and then stop.
- Continue this process as your partner moves closer and closer to you.
- It may take several sessions before you can safely urinate in the presence of your partner.
Step 5. Make a noise while urinating
If you urinate in your home or apartment in the presence of your partner, make sure there is enough noise when urinating. If you are confused by the sound that is present when urinating, purposefully create such a noise. For example, if you are very nervous when you hear the noise of urine getting into the water, try making this noise when you urinate.
Over time, you will get used to this noise and you will not feel embarrassed. You need to learn not to react to the noise that is present when urinating
Step 6. Visit the next restroom on your list
After you are comfortable urinating in front of your partner at home and not worrying about the noise you make while urinating, move on to the next restroom on your list. The next restroom might be a quiet public restroom or a restroom at your friend's house.
- Do what you do at home. First, stand at the toilet door. Then gradually move closer to the toilet.
- Once you start to feel comfortable in this restroom, move on to the next place mentioned on your list.
- In the end, you will have to visit the most difficult place mentioned on the list, and you will find that it is not at all difficult for you to urinate in a noisy public toilet where there are many people.
- You may need to train 3-4 times a week to achieve the desired result. If you do everything correctly, the result will not be long in coming - it will take 12 sessions.
Step 7. Drink plenty of water before each session
If you want to achieve results with each session, drink plenty of water the day before to keep your bladder filled with fluid. Do this specifically before each session with your partner.
Method 5 of 5: Practice the breath-holding technique
Step 1. Practice holding your breath at home
The breath-holding technique helps to increase the amount of carbon dioxide in the blood, thereby helping to relax and reduce anxiety. Before using this technique while urinating, learn how to do it properly at home.
- Hold your breath for 10 seconds and assess how you are feeling.
- Increase the duration of the breath hold by 5-10 seconds each time. Assess your condition after each attempt. If you are not feeling well, stop the exercise. This technique may not work for you.
- Practice the breath-holding technique in different places.
- After you learn to hold your breath for 45 seconds, try doing this exercise in the restroom.
Step 2. Start your practice from a place that is comfortable for you
This could be a toilet in your home or an empty public restroom.
- Stand or sit in the restroom and breathe normally.
- During one of the exhalations, hold your breath, releasing 75% of the air from your total lung volume.
- Hold your breath for 45 seconds. Cover your nose if necessary.
- After 45 seconds, you can start urinating.
- You may need to do the breath-hold technique again if the urination process stops.
Step 3. Train
This method only works if you continue to practice it in different situations and places. You can make the necessary adjustments for this technique to work. For example, you can start doing this technique while going to the bathroom.