Rudeness towards others has a negative impact on both the boor and his victim. If you've made a habit of intentionally harming people - physically, verbally, or emotionally - it's time to break that pattern. The following tips will help you figure out the reasons for this behavior and finally get it over with.
Method 1 of 3: Do Introspection
Step 1. Think about what is rudeness
If you notice this behavior in yourself, then you are bullying others.
- Verbal resentment is when you tease, grimace, offend, and insult someone.
- Physical rudeness is to offend someone, push, hit, or hurt in some other way.
- Emotional harm is manipulating someone for their own benefit by making the person feel ashamed or depriving them of self-confidence and strength. You can gossip, say nasty things behind a person's back, separate him from the rest.
Step 2. Determine your level of insecurity
Many people hurt others because of their insecurities. Consider the following points:
- Are you being rude to hide your own weakness? Insulting someone as a way to hide your own powerlessness is a very common reason for rudeness.
- Do you hurt others in order to show yourself in front of others? Perhaps you want to stay afloat in difficult situations by showing your strength.
- Do you imitate in others that which does not suit you in yourself? It's common to mock someone who shares an unwanted trait with you.
- Are you hurting other people because you are unhappy with your personal life? Some people act against others when they feel powerless to change something in their lives.
Step 3. Determine the place of rudeness in your life
Are you hurting others because someone has hurt you? Sometimes people bully others because they learned how to do it from someone else. Think about how the people in your life suffer from their own insecurities and feelings of powerlessness.
- If you are being bullied at home, seek help from a school counselor, therapist, or someone you trust.
Step 4. What do you think it is like to be rude to people?
What happens in your head when you hurt someone? What usually causes you to start hurting others? If you fully understand why this is happening, you have a good chance of stopping this negative behavior.
Method 2 of 3: Control Your Behavior
Step 1. Think about it
If you are rude to people because of your problematic nature, learn to think before you act. For example, when the person has told you something that tends to piss you off, take a deep breath and wait a moment before answering.
- Just realize that with each action you decide to behave in a certain way. Your words and behavior are under your control.
Step 2. Stop communicating with people who reward you for bullying others
If you harm others for the sake of obtaining a certain status in a team, then this team has a negative impact on you. Most likely, you do not want to be rude to people, but you feel that you need it to survive. Change your social circle immediately and give up this behavior.
- If your team pushes you to bully someone, tell someone you trust that you need help to resolve the situation.
Step 3. Learn to empathize with others
Perhaps you treat people badly because you disagree with their point of view. Ask yourself how would you feel if someone hurt you?
- Spend time with people and learn from it on a deeper level.
- Understand that everyone is equal: you are no better than other people, and they are no better than you.
- Appreciate what makes each person unique, rather than judging them for their differences.
Step 4. Get professional help
If you feel that you cannot control your rudeness yourself, talk about your problem with a counselor or therapist. They will help you change your behavior.
Method 3 of 3: Make peace with others
Step 1. Apologize to the people you hurt
Once you begin to control your behavior, you still have a long way to go to get people's trust back. Start by apologizing to the one you offended.
- Don't apologize until you sincerely want to. People will be able to sense the falsity of your words.
- People who have been hurt by you for a long time will not want to talk to you. Respect their privacy and understand that relationships can be ruined.
Step 2. From now on, treat people with respect
Learn to understand and relate to them in a new way, until you become a habit of respecting others. If you find yourself returning to old thoughts again, remember to pause and think before you act. Focus on what you have in common with people and value their humanity. You cannot control people, but you can control yourself.
- Set a good example for others. Be kind to people who are constantly bullied so that everyone can see that they should not be rude.
- Avoid the wrong companies. If your friends don't like your changes, then just tell them that you can't be friends anymore.