If you want to please a girl who doesn't want a relationship, you have to put in a lot of effort. As you know, men and women, like creatures from different galaxies, express their feelings in different ways. Most girls who say "I'm not ready for a relationship" are simply not interested in the guys who are told this. There are very few real situations when a girl is really "not ready for a relationship." girl to spend time together. After reading this article, you will learn how to properly behave in this situation.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Approach the girl you like
Step 1. Think about why you want the girl to like you
Just because she's beautiful? If this is the only reason moving you, you are on the wrong path. A beautiful girl is very often shown attention only because of her beauty. With so much attention, a girl can feel lonely and misunderstood. She may begin to think about her personal qualities if beauty is the only reason for showing attention to her. Think about what attracts you to this girl. Holding someone's hand just because of their appearance is cruel. Before showing your interest in a girl, think about your motives. Pay attention to the positives:
- Honesty: She must be honest with herself and others. In addition, the girl must be trustworthy and reliable. Consider if you can trust each other with your thoughts, emotions, and fears.
- Emotional maturity and self-esteem: There are no perfect people, but the desire to reflect and learn from the past (and show that you have done so) is a key characteristic of emotionally mature people. Emotionally immature girls are dependent on others, and their actions are always dictated only by emotions.
- Ability to support and strive for personal growth: she has her own interests, and she does everything possible to satisfy them. She also has a positive attitude towards life (even when problems arise) and good relationships with family and friends. However, note that someone who puts their own interests above those of others, displays a competitive spirit, and constantly criticizes others is not a good partner.
Step 2. Be attractive to women
If you want a girl to pay attention to you, be attractive to her. This should be reflected in your appearance, behavior and in your relationships with other people. By making some changes, you can not only make yourself more attractive to women, but also become a more confident person. You don't have to make drastic changes. Start simple: be hygienic, listen carefully, do good things for others (not just when she's around).
- Watch your appearance. It shows that you have self-esteem and that you take care of yourself. Wear clean, ironed clothes, take a shower at least once every two days, and watch your hair and beard if you have one. Take good care of your oral cavity: Brush your teeth twice a day and avoid foods that cause bad breath (like coffee or garlic). Try not to overuse cologne, remember - everything is good in moderation. Opt for a neutral-scent cologne or deodorant.
- Add a red item to your wardrobe. Although it is difficult to explain, a person wearing red clothing appears to be successful. Most likely, the girl will pay attention to you if you are wearing a shirt, tie, jacket or sweater in red.
- Relax and be confident: don't let fear hold you back on your way to your dreams. Even if you think that the girl is not showing interest in you, do not be afraid to fight for her. Girls like confident young people. Also, girls like guys who are casual.
Step 3. Talk to a girl you like, even if she doesn't show interest in you
Let her know that you like her. Try to develop a friendship with her. However, be careful not to be aggressive or too intrusive. Ask her about something that interests both of you. You can tell her something about the weather, about school, or whatever might be of interest to her. You can melt the ice if you offer her your help. For example, help her complete a project or homework assignment. Choose interesting topics for conversation. Don't talk about politics, religion, past relationships, or traumatic events.
- When talking to a girl, keep eye contact with her and smile. Do not speak too quickly or in a high tone, the girl will understand that you are nervous.
- If you are walking somewhere together, slow down and relax your shoulders. You will look more casual and approachable. These are good qualities, both for a friend and for a person with whom you can build a relationship.
- Show respect. Whatever decision the girl makes, respect her. If she does not want to continue the relationship - friendly or romantic - that is her right. Without asking unnecessary questions, accept her decision with dignity.
Step 4. Don't send conflicting signals about your feelings
The term conflicting feelings describes the difference between how others perceive you and your behavior and how you value yourself. The girl may refuse you if you send her conflicting signals. For example, you might be constantly talking about other girls and your past dates, or you might be late for a date, which might also raise questions from the girl.
- Don't brag. You can mention your achievements, but do not boast about it.
- Be an open and sincere person. If you are a calm person by nature, do your best to prevent the girl from thinking of you as a cold and unfeeling pessimist.
- People tend to judge extroverts more than introverts. This means that people who are more talkative, cheerful, and emotionally stable leave a better first impression than those who are quiet, shy, and not actively involved in the conversation.
- If she told you that she was not interested in the relationship, then you made it clear that you like her. If she tells you about it first, don't deny your feelings, but tell her that you really like her. Take care of her in a veiled way, chat with friends, offer to help her with a project, or invite her to go to the library or cafe together.
Step 5. Be a good friend
If she is really not interested in a relationship, or right now she cannot have a relationship for any reason (family, school, work, health, etc.), do not pressure her. Become a good friend to her. Give her support. This is especially important if she is facing a serious problem, such as the death of a loved one or illness.
- Respect her privacy and privacy. Don't try to solve her problems or give her advice. Just let her know that you are there and ready to listen to her.
- Be a good listener. Take your time to express your opinion and resist the temptation to decide everything for her.
- Make a plan for how you can show your attention. Offer to pay for her at a cafe or give her a ride home. Simple good deeds, like bricks, can eventually turn out to be a solid wall of strong relationships.
Method 2 of 3: Ask your girlfriend out on a date
Step 1. Meet the girl in an informal setting
If you are already friends and want to take your relationship to the next level, skip this step. However, if you've just met, ask her out on a date. Find an excuse to invite the girl to chat with you. Start like this: when you see her, look into her eyes, smile and say, "Hello!" Then start a conversation. Compliment her and ask her about her interests (music, movies, books, hobbies, etc.). This conversation should lay a good foundation for future meetings. Show your girlfriend that you have similar goals, interests, and outlook on life.
- Be patient and take your time. Some girls are more talkative and open about themselves, while others are more shy and shy.
- Don't use cheap pickup bait phrases. Not only will you make a bad impression, it can also detract from the girl's dignity and be offensive to her.
Step 2. Invite your girlfriend out on a date
You can either ask her directly about this, or use an indirect approach, such as asking what she is doing on the weekend or if she has any plans for the evening. Your choice should depend on the situation and the character of the girl. You can also try the following methods: ask if she was in this restaurant (say the name), if not, invite her to accompany you and taste new dishes. You can also say, "You and I are free this weekend and the weather is so great, so why don't we do something together?" Keep in mind that at this stage you are simply asking her out on a date (to the movies, to a concert, to dinner, and so on), rather than inviting her to become your girlfriend. With this proposal, you can turn to the girl after a few dates, when both of you feel free in each other's company.
- When inviting a girl, do not drive her into a corner in the truest sense of the word. She may say no because she feels uncomfortable.
- While it is acceptable for a girl to go on a date with a boyfriend, most girls expect a boyfriend to take the first step.
- When asking a girl out on a date, you should know that girls express their feelings in a completely different way. For example, girls very rarely speak directly about their feelings, as a rule, they do it in a veiled way.
Step 3. Leave a good impression on your date
On your first date (or the first time you spent time together), you should do everything you can to make sure the girl has a pleasant experience with you. You should not shout about your feelings, but show her that you like her with some small but understandable signs. Next, you can invite her to do something fun with friends. Take the lead and decide for yourself what you do and where you go that day. Ask the girl if she has any food preferences. Once you find out what she likes, head to the cafe, pre-ordering if necessary. Avoid expensive restaurants, however.
- Tidy yourself up - wash and comb, brush your teeth, put on clean, ironed clothes. When it comes to cologne, remember, a lot is not always a good thing.
- Do not overuse alcohol, be considerate and practice good manners. Don't dominate the conversation, turn off your phone, be attentive to her, and be kind to others.
- Avoid controversial issues. For example, you shouldn't discuss politics, ex-relationships, sex, or work. Instead, focus on pleasant topics such as news (and her opinion on current events), family, travel (where you would like to travel together), love, and friendships.
Method 3 of 3: Do your best to please the girl
Step 1. Become her best friend
Friendship is the foundation of a good relationship. A good friend is a gentle, caring and considerate person. However, don't lose sight of the prospect of a closer relationship. However, don't let it be used by you. If you feel that your friendship has become unequal (you do all the work, and she gets all the benefits), then it may be worth talking to her about it or limiting communication with this girl and her friends.
Step 2. Joke with each other
Nice, funny jokes are a way to show you are interested in someone. Jokes can defuse tensions. When you make fun of someone, do it in a way that doesn't hurt the other person. In addition, the girl should understand that you do not want to hurt her feelings, but only show your interest in her. You can make fun of what she eats or the style of music she listens to.
- Examples of flirting include light tickling or pushing. Alternatively, you can close her eyes with your hands and ask, "Guess who is this?"
- When flirting, change your tone of voice and facial expression. Remember to smile.
Step 3. Flirt with her
Flirting is a universal and essential aspect of human interaction with the opposite sex. When flirting, look at the girl, smile, and then quickly look away. You can also compliment her or act like an old-fashioned gentleman by holding the door, letting the girl in front, treating her to something in the cafe, or carrying her purse. If you're already in a close enough relationship, you can remove a strand of hair from her face, hug her when you meet, or sit next to her. If she is not indifferent to you, she will take a step towards a meeting and will also flirt with you.
Step 4. Make her jealous
One way to get her to show interest in you is to keep the relationship a little cold. If your relationship is at a standstill, start hanging out with other girls. By doing this, you can make her jealous and she will appreciate your relationship even more.
- Do not reveal all the cards at once. Mysteriousness and mystery attract and rekindle romantic feelings.
- The girl should feel like she misses you. Don't call her every day. Your absence can show the girl how dear you are to her.
Step 5. Build an open relationship
If you love her and she loves you but is afraid of any commitment, you can build an open relationship. An open relationship is a relationship without commitment. Everyone in your pair is free to do whatever they want. You can afford to flirt with other girls. If you are between 18 and 24 years old, an open relationship can help you become emotionally mature and learn to communicate with the opposite sex. In an open relationship, it is important to establish basic rules so as not to hurt each other's feelings:
- How do you feel about walking in public places?
- How do you feel about keeping the relationship secret?
- What if your girlfriend or you have feelings for someone else? Is it worth talking about this to each other if it happens?
- How often do you want to see each other? Will you call and send messages to each other?
- Don't ask questions that might belittle another's self-esteem, such as: Who did you hang out with? Where did you spend last night? Why didn't you answer my calls? Can I add you to Facebook?
- If you cannot agree to certain terms, you may have to give up your free relationship. Tell her how you feel, but be prepared to remain friends if she's not ready for more.
Advice
- Above all: sincerely respect her. Respect her thoughts, her feelings, her interests. Find out what she likes and dislikes. This way, you won't be just another guy.
- The person who does not want a new relationship has most likely had a sad experience in the past. Do not pressure the girl, and do not use the word "relationship" or the phrase "be closer." Build strong friendships first, and then think big.
- Work on your character, talents, interests, and kindness, and you will become more attractive to others. Focus on improving your personality instead of trying to fall in love with someone!
- Know when to let go. It is very rare to spend a lot of time with a girl who is not interested in a relationship. If she doesn't like you, then there is no point in trying to persuade her. It will only hurt you.
- Respect her decision, even if it is not in your favor. You cannot make her love you.
- Confess your feelings. After a few dates, if you still don't know how she feels about you, you can talk to her about your feelings. However, avoid extraordinary confessions so as not to alienate the girl.
- Consider the advisability of continuing your courtship. If, despite all your attempts, the girl does not reciprocate, it may not make sense to keep trying.
- If the girl doesn't reciprocate with you or says that she is not ready for a relationship, it may be because of the relationship in which she is already in. Respect her choice and remember, life doesn't end there.
- Some girls have other goals in life, such as education, work, family responsibilities, religious beliefs, or sports.
- Don't waste your life on meaningless attempts to win the heart of a girl who is "not ready for a relationship." You do not want to miss that one, just because you are waiting for someone else.
- The girl you like may not want to be romantically involved with you. She may see you as a close friend. Be close to her, and over time, you can become closer. For the time being, do not force things, but respect her decision.
- If she decides she doesn't want to date you, don't take it personally. This is a valuable experience that will definitely come in handy in the future.
Warnings
- If she tells you bluntly: "I'm not going to build a relationship at the moment" or "I already have a boyfriend," most likely, by this she wants to show you that she does not want to have a relationship with you.
- Never build a relationship if you see that the girl is just taking advantage of you. Relationships should be mutual - if you feel that she takes them for granted or uses you, then most likely, she is not interested in you as a person.
- Inappropriate remarks, excessive caress and touching, or obscene gestures may be perceived by the girl as sexual harassment.
- Never force a girl to have sex. Moreover, do not do anything that you will later regret if the girl is intoxicated. Rape is a serious criminal offense.
- Respect the girl's right to set boundaries in your relationship and respect her decision, even if it’s not in your favor.