Facebook is a social network where people make friends, bond with them, and sometimes lose them. Everyone was once removed from friends. But why did this happen? Did you say something that the other person didn't like? Or is this deletion supposed to tell you something? If you continue to worry that someone has decided to interrupt virtual communication, this article will help you deal with the situation.
Method 1 of 3: Make sure you are actually deleted
Step 1. Check if you were actually deleted
Before you start worrying about deletion, make sure that this person is no longer on your friends list. Sometimes it seems like a person deleted you, but in reality they just haven't posted anything for a long time.
- It is very simple to check if this person is your friend - go to his page.
- If there is a "add friend" button there, it means that the person has deleted you.
- If it says that you are friends, then nothing has changed.
Method 2 of 3: Think about the reasons
Step 1. Reflect on what might have caused this situation
After making sure that the person removed you from their friends, think about what might have motivated them to do so. Be honest with yourself. Don't beat yourself up too much or pretend that you never bore people. Here are some questions to help you better understand human behavior:
- Have you spam? People get annoyed when someone constantly advertises their business or any other product or service they like.
- You were showing off? Most people hate it when someone tries to get more attention by posting selfies on a regular basis. Have you inundated Facebook with photos and stories about a vacation abroad or a well-spent weekend? Perhaps you are constantly streaming on Facebook the number of kilometers covered and uneaten calories, or are you constantly telling everyone what your BMI has become?
- How often do you publish game results? If your friends don't play the same games as you, they will quickly get tired of notifications that your farm has grown for the 99th time, as well as constant invitations to the game. So you can lose all your friends.
- Have you encouraged people to like you?? Endless requests for likes can infuriate even the most persistent people. Due to the increasing pressure from the side, the person may decide to simply remove you from their friends.
- You write often about your loved ones? If a person constantly exposes his pet, relationship with a husband or wife, boyfriend or girlfriend, this will begin to irritate readers, especially single ones.
- You fill the entire news feed with information about your child or children? It's one thing if you share a cute picture with your readers from time to time, but it's quite another if you regularly inform the world about attempts to potty train your child or what kind of genius your son or daughter will become.
- Did you have a conflict with the person who deleted you? Did you have an argument (on Facebook or in real life)? Disagreement on some issue often pushes people to remove friends - this is how passive-aggressive behavior is expressed. Although adults usually don't behave this way, you will feel uncomfortable anyway, so it's time to stretch out a branch of the world.
- The person who removed you has many friends? If your friend has several thousand Facebook friends, chances are he "got rid" of you just to add someone he knows better than you.
- Do you often complain? Do you write about every ailment and upcoming doctor visits? Whatever you want to achieve with this - attention, sympathetic comments, empathy - people will most likely start to perceive you as someone who constantly complains about everything. Would you like to be friends with such a person yourself?
- You often "share" other people's records? How many memes, sarcastic, cute, funny and inspiring captions have you posted in the last week? Of course, everyone loves funny pictures, but if you've filled the entire space with these images and can't write anything yourself, chances are your virtual friends will lose interest in you.
- How often do you record your religious or political views?? People who are far from politics will not like daily notes on the current situation. Likewise, your followers will react to constant religious pictures and messages like "repost if you're not ashamed of Jesus' love."
If you comment on each of your friend's posts, they may think you have an obsession. Imagine what it would be like if in real life someone would comment on your every step? There is a clear line between friendship and compulsive behavior.
Obviously, no explanation is needed here.
- Are you really friends? Do you know this person well? If not, your virtual friend might just get tired of updates from someone he doesn't know at all.
Method 3 of 3: Dealing with the situation
Step 1. Understand your friend and humble yourself
While you may not be 100% sure what prompted the friend to remove you, evaluate the situation in terms of the most likely cause and try to understand the friend. For example, if a person has nearly 5,000 friends, they may well decide to remove you to make room for close friends and family members. You would do the same, so don't judge others. The following tips will help you:
- Don't be upset or angry with the person. Respect his decision. After all, if you removed someone yourself, you wouldn't want to be hated for it.
- Remember that you cannot force a person to be friends with you, be it Facebook or real life. These are unrealistic expectations, and fluidity in friendships is one of the features of life.
- Try not to look for hidden meanings in removing from friends. Even if it seems to you that this gesture was very harsh, do not forget that your self-esteem should be determined by you personally, and not by someone outside. Don't look for hidden messages - they may not be there.
- If you know for sure that this action was the result of an argument, try to make up. A gesture such as removal from friends is no different from other manifestations of discontent and resentment. Do not exaggerate the problem and try to improve the relationship, not force the person to add you with friends again.
- If a close friend or relative deleted you, ask them why they did it. It is quite possible that this happened by accident, but even if not, your question should be gentle.
- If you come across this person often in real life, be polite and friendly with them. Do not express your dissatisfaction with harsh phrases. If you want to talk about it, be discreet and correct.
Step 2. Move on
Do not dwell on what happened and do not try to change your profile so that others will like it. If you like what you post on Facebook, leave it as it is. Remember that by deleting you, people make themselves worse, because they refuse to communicate with you online. Stop thinking that someone deleted you, and do not go to that person's page to find out how they are doing. Live on, because you have many more friends who want to keep in touch with you.
Avoid intrusive and annoying behaviors. You shouldn't create an image of who you are not, but you need to give up the bad habits discussed above so as not to displease people. Spam, too frequent updates, an endless stream of pictures are not the best ways to use Facebook. Think about what you need to work on. The changes will allow you to enjoy this social network, and for others, your page will cease to be a source of negativity
Step 3. Give up Facebook
If you can't forget that you were deleted, and it makes you nervous, you need to take a break from this social network. After all, this is one of the strongest addictions of our time. Below are some helpful tips:
- Deactivate your account or do not use it for a while.
- Remove the app from your phone. Out of sight, out of mind! Give yourself a break from virtual communication and look at yourself from the outside.
Do other things that you enjoy. Spend more time outdoors, do sports, art, music; you can even write an article for wikiHow. Distract yourself from negative emotions, and soon everything that happened will be forgotten, like all other unimportant things.
- Don't focus on what someone else has done and forgotten. Think about the present, not the past.
Step 4. Add a new person as a friend
If you think this will be helpful, send someone a friend request. Maybe it will be someone you talked to a couple of times at school, or that new girl on the volleyball team. Having a relationship with a new person, you can forget about the person who removed you from friends.
- If you add someone on Facebook and start chatting with that person, you won't be able to pretend that you don't know each other in real life.
- Don't take deletion from friends as a personal offense. If someone deleted you, this does not mean that this person does not like you - he just made the decision to remove you from the list of friends. Respect this decision.
- If you decide to ask your friend why he deleted you, be polite and correct. Harsh phrases can ruin your relationship forever. Be a well-mannered person - do not put pressure on the interlocutor.
- Over time, some people come to the conclusion that social media is not for them. This does not mean that they are not interested in you - they just do not like this way of communication. But such people, as a rule, can always write an e-mail (although it will take longer for a response). Ask the person how you can keep in touch with them if they give up social media.
- If you only want to share information with your family, start using resources like Huglr, where you can share news with family and close friends.
- Your self-worth should not be influenced by the opinions of others. You will be very worried if a person removes you from friends, if you overestimate the connection with this person because you liked that he noticed you or praised you. If you often encounter such a problem, seek help from a psychologist, a close friend, read special literature, because this will help you understand what you really deserve.
- Do not try to add someone as a friend again after they deleted you. This is not only weird, but also impolite, so the person may block you so they don't have to deal with you anymore.
- If you realize that you have been deleted due to spam, stop doing what you do on Facebook. Spam is annoying if you advertise your business, but it can endanger others if you link to third-party resources (you can accidentally spread viruses and contribute to phishing).