Sometimes we are too hard on ourselves, not showing enough respect, attention, or appreciation for our accomplishments. This, in turn, can lead to a negative attitude towards yourself, which makes you forget that you are important. Working to build self-esteem and self-confidence is a great way to remind yourself that you are important and regain your self-esteem.
Method 1 of 3: Be Happy with Yourself
Step 1. Write down your strengths, accomplishments, and whatever you like about yourself
Take a piece of paper and a pen and start making three detailed lists about yourself. In one, write down your strengths, in the second - achievements, and in the third - what you value in yourself. This will help you focus on your positive aspects. In addition, these lists can be re-read at any time, just to quickly build self-esteem.
- Have a friend or family member help you.
- Reread your lists regularly to remind yourself of how important you are.
Step 2. Take care of yourself
Remind yourself of how valuable and important you are by taking proper care of yourself. Taking care of your health and personal needs will help you build healthy self-esteem and self-esteem.
- Get enough sleep at night.
- Eat a healthy diet, eat lots of fruits and vegetables, and avoid foods high in fat and sugar.
- Exercise regularly to feel good and stay strong and healthy.
Step 3. Do what you enjoy doing
At least once a day, devote time to your favorite activity. Whatever the activity, show yourself that you are important and deserve the right to do what interests you.
Step 4. Set new goals and objectives for yourself
Pick a new hobby or activity that has always interested you and start doing it. Set a goal for yourself to improve your skills in this new hobby and start working towards that goal. This will allow you to remind yourself that you can confidently deal with the problems that arise.
- Try learning to play a musical instrument.
- Learn a new language that you find interesting.
- Try a new sport or exercise program.
Step 5. Spend time with people who make you feel positive and proud
To a large extent, our self-esteem is based on the kind of people we surround ourselves with. The company of negative or critical people can lead to self-doubt. But if you surround yourself with positive and active people, it will help you feel valuable and important.
Step 6. Think about what you are grateful for
Gratitude reminds us of what is important to us, to our lives, and to the people we care about. Think of all the people, be they friends or family, who value and respect you very much. Thinking about everything you are grateful for will help you feel important again.
Step 7. Learn to always feel important
Work on increasing your self-esteem so that you realize how important you are.
- Try self-assessing your talents. Write down what you do well and how you use that talent of yours in your daily life. For example, you may be good at listening and use this skill to be a good friend and help people at work deal with company issues.
- Write down how you can use your skills to fulfill your dreams. Maybe you've always dreamed of helping people and making a real difference in their lives. These skills can be used to get an appropriate education and become a psychologist. This will allow you to use your natural listening ability and your willingness to help people.
Method 2 of 3: Replace Negative Thinking with Positive Thinking
Step 1. Think of a stressful or difficult situation
Analyze your life and choose some difficult situation that you once had to face. This problem will be used as a tool that allows you to explore how you approached the problem, how you see yourself, and allows you to make some kind of change for the better.
An example of such a situation might be a quarrel, an important presentation, or a major life change
Step 2. Pay attention to your thoughts and beliefs
When thinking about a stressful or difficult situation you have chosen, be extremely mindful of your thoughts. Understand what you are thinking and feeling, and this will allow you to later appreciate these trends and change what you want to change.
- You may find that your thoughts are rational, based on facts and logic.
- Your thoughts may also be irrational, based on inaccurate or incorrect information.
- Your thoughts can be positive, negative, or neutral. At this stage, you need to choose negative thoughts to work on.
Step 3. Look for negative thoughts
When analyzing your thoughts, pay attention to negative or any other thoughts that may be based on misunderstandings or inaccurate information. Try to understand that these thoughts are not the only way to look at the situation. Look for the following examples of negative self-perception in your thinking:
- You equate feelings with facts. You may feel like someone doesn't like you, but the truth is, you can't know for sure what the other person is thinking.
- In the end, you always come to negative conclusions, despite the fact that you do not have any reason or evidence for this. You may be thinking that your boss will refuse you a promotion even though you have never had any refusals in the past.
- You only focus on the negative. After evaluating your performance, you can get stuck on one critical comment and forget about all the positive feedback you received.
- You have negative self-talk. After a tense conversation with someone, you may be telling yourself that you messed things up.
- You turn positive thoughts into negative ones, belittle your successes or achievements. You may be prone to self-judgment, even when you have reason to celebrate success.
Step 4. Replace negative thoughts with positive ones
Once you've successfully identified your negative or erroneous thoughts, start replacing them with healthy ones that boost your self-esteem and self-esteem. Try replacing your negative thoughts with these positive alternatives:
- Forgive and love yourself. Chances are you wouldn't humiliate someone else for a mistake or failure, so don't do that to yourself. If you make a mistake, tell yourself that it will be a valuable experience for you and that it will help you learn something.
- Hope and be positive. Tell yourself that although the situation may seem difficult, you are able and willing to do your best to resolve it.
- You can decide for yourself how to react to negative thoughts. If you are stressed, come up with specific ways to make the stressful situation less stressful for yourself.
- Focus on what is going well or what went well.
Step 5. Contact a psychotherapist and consult about cognitive behavioral therapy
Better yet, call a psychologist or psychotherapist and make an appointment. A professional will help you develop new and healthy mental habits that focus on positive thoughts that increase self-esteem, rather than negative ones.
- Ask a therapist if cognitive behavioral therapy would be helpful for you.
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy can help you deal with negative thinking and keep you in mind that you are very important.
- While you can start using basic CBT techniques on your own, working with a psychotherapist will provide the best results.
Method 3 of 3: Separate and Accept Negative Thoughts
Step 1. Remember a stressful situation in your life
Try to find a difficult situation that you may have recently encountered. You will use this example to better understand how you deal with stressful situations, how you think about them, so that you can then change your approach and improve your self-esteem.
- Pay close attention to your thoughts about the situation.
- As you do this exercise, notice any negative thoughts.
Step 2. Separate from negative thoughts
Once you've identified negative thoughts about your chosen stressful situation, begin to distance yourself from them. The main goal is to realize that they are ultimately just words and that you can take a step back and just observe them without identifying with those thoughts.
- Try writing down your negative thoughts with the opposite hand, or pretend they are written on another object. This will help you become aware of them as something that you can observe, from which you can detach.
- See your negative thoughts as something you can separate from.
- One way to take away negative thoughts from their power over you, when you realize that such thoughts have arisen in your head, is to simply say “Stop!” Until they really stop. Remind yourself that you have learned about harmful ways of thinking in the past, and now you are learning new ways. Then replace negative thoughts with positive ones.
Step 3. Accept these negative thoughts
After you have been able to separate from your negative thoughts, just take a step back and let them be without being carried away by them. Realize that you are able to control your thinking and approach these negative thoughts without having to control or fight them.
- If you allow negative thoughts to pass by without clinging to them, they will lose their power over you.
- Being aware of negative thoughts will help you let go of them and replace them with positive ones.
- You may still have negative thoughts, but you don't have to dive into them and give them power over you.
Step 4. See a psychotherapist
Of course, you can practice the basic techniques of acceptance and commitment therapy yourself, but working with a therapist will ensure that you get the most out of your efforts. The therapist will work directly with you to tailor the acceptance and commitment therapy process to your needs.
A therapist can help you use acceptance and commitment therapy to boost your self-esteem
- Be kind and condescending to yourself.
- Become aware of negative thoughts about yourself and work to either let those thoughts pass by or replace them with positive ones.
- Surround yourself with positive people who make you feel positive and proud.