You may feel that you cannot make yourself happier. But in fact, your own happiness depends solely on yourself, no matter what situation you find yourself in. If you want to be happier, then you have to change your outlook on things a little, starting to accept all the surprises that life throws at you, at the same time, trying to change what you don't like. If you want to feel happy in the blink of an eye, here are some specific steps.
Method 1 of 3: Part One: Changing Your Worldview
Step 1. Think positively
The easiest way to feel happier is to try to be optimistic. You may think that some people are simply more pessimistic than others, but this is the lazy mindset that will prevent you from being happier than you already are. Maybe the situation you find yourself in is out of your control, but you control your attitude towards it, and it is in your power to focus your attention on the positive side of what is happening, instead of dwelling on the negative. This approach will make you happier.
- To acquire positive thinking, you need to learn to control your own thoughts. As soon as negative thoughts come into your head, pull yourself together and drive them away with the power of a positive attitude and logic. How many of these negative thoughts are part of the "worst-case scenario" or your habit of always expecting the worst outcome?
- One of the easiest ways to develop positive thinking in yourself is to surround yourself with positive people. Their positive energy will overwhelm you.
Step 2. Make a thank you list
He will remind you how much you have to be grateful for, and this will make you feel happy. Find a quiet corner and, on a piece of paper, write down at least 10 to 15 things for which you are grateful in life. These can be big things, like your family and your friends, or little things like a new garden near your home. Think of everything that makes you laugh and makes your life a fraction of the happiness it is. Making this list will make you rethink how much you have to be grateful and happy for.
- Keep the list handy and add new items to it every Sunday. Make it a ritual to recite it every time you return to it in your mind, or at the end of each year. You will see how much happiness there is in your life.
- There is another variation on this simple game called the Lucky Bank. Write down every little thing that makes you happy on a piece of paper and toss it into the jar. Open it at the end of the year or when it is full, let pleasant memories remind you of all the happy moments of the past.
Step 3. Appreciate the little things
If you want to be happier, you need to learn to appreciate the small things as much as the big accomplishments. Stop and smell the scent of the roses. Literally sniff all the flowers that grow near your home, they are amazing. Taste new cookies at a local café and savor their complex and rich aroma. Take a moment of joy after reading a sweet message from a friend. These little things may seem insignificant, but add up to happiness.
Make it a goal to celebrate at least five little things every day that make you happy. When you start to do this, it will start to feel natural to you, and you will catch yourself thinking that you are smiling thanks to little things that you didn’t pay attention to before
Step 4. Live in the moment
Another secret to happiness is enjoying the present instead of regretting the past or fearing the future. Learn to enjoy current conversations instead of worrying about where you're going or worrying about words spoken 20 minutes ago. Appreciate what is in front of your eyes at the moment, appreciate a pleasant pastime, and discard all thoughts that are not related to what is happening right now. Naturally, this approach requires a lot of effort, but as soon as you push yourself over, the level of happiness will skyrocket.
Living in the present takes practice, but it can be learned quickly by practicing yoga and meditation
Step 5. Take time to think
It's important to take the time to summarize your experiences and reflect on the day, noting the events that made you a little more happy. Perhaps you are not feeling happy because you are mechanically going through the events in your mind and asking yourself, "What the hell was that?" Take time every day (or at least every week) to reflect on what happened to you. You will feel happier and less heavy in life.
While it is best to indulge in thought alone, sometimes you can share your thoughts with a good friend if something continues to bother you. A heart-to-heart conversation can shed light on what happened
Step 6. Stop comparing yourself to others
Learn to value your life as it is, instead of wanting to have as much money as many of your friends, or dreaming of a body like someone else's. This is the only way you can overcome sadness and jealousy. Remind yourself that everyone has their own concerns and strengths in life, and no one can have everything at once. Focus on what you are doing and do not look around. It will make you much happier.
You may feel like you know someone who has "everything." But chances are good that this person may be jealous of something that you have
Step 7. Develop a sense of compassion
Tenjin Gyamtsho, the 14th Dalai Lama once said, "If you want happiness for others, be compassionate. If you want happiness for yourself, be compassionate." You may feel that compassion for other people has nothing to do with your own happiness, but in fact, compassion for a friend or just a stranger will make you a more fulfilling, self-aware and grateful person. If you are completely absorbed in your own concerns and do not look back to see how others are, you will definitely be less happy than compassionate people.
Spend time with friends, make an effort to empathize with them. Look at things from a friend's perspective, ask them about their feelings, and show that you really care
Method 2 of 3: Part Two: Changing Actions
Step 1. Spend more time with the people you love
You will definitely feel happier spending time with the people you love or with those who bring you joy. If you feel bad, call a friend or family member and plan some fun activity instead of just lounging on the couch. It may seem to you that your depressive mood will ruin your friend's mood, but in fact it will lift your mood.
- Spend time with happy people. Laughter and happiness are contagious, and when you are surrounded by happy people, you involuntarily feel good. A study by Harvard University and the University of California, San Diego insists that a person's happiness depends not only on their own situation, but also on their environment.
- Don't spend time with people who are constantly complaining. People who are always negative, like to whine and see only the bad in every situation, will definitely ruin your mood. Avoid such people whenever possible, especially during periods when you are cheerful.
Step 2. Work on the flaws in your life
This is another way to find greater happiness. Make a careful plan to improve your life in the long term. You may not be able to make drastic changes in your life, for example, suddenly change your profession, but there are little things that can greatly change the quality of your life. In other words, if something is broken, it needs to be repaired.
- Of course, you won't be able to acquire a new profession overnight, but you can change your approach to work. Remember that work is not the ultimate truth and that there are many other joyful things in your life.
- The little things can have a big impact on global well-being. For example, if you spend an hour in traffic before driving to work and it annoys you, make an effort to get up half an hour early to avoid traffic jams.
- Maybe you are gnawing at the thought that you are selfish, unfriendly, a bad listener, and a bad friend. Do whatever you can to remedy the situation. If you are happy with yourself, then you will be happy too.
Step 3. Spend more time outdoors
A walk in the fresh air under the warming sun will undoubtedly cheer you up. If you need to do something that can be done outside, be sure to decide in favor of going out. If you were going to read a book in your dark and stuffy room, change your mind and go to the park with a book. If you're going to dine with a friend at a café, grab an outdoor table. Spending time outside - provided you don't get caught in a storm - is bound to make you happier.
Try outdoor sports outside of the gym. As much as possible. Running in the sun will keep you in a good mood, and in the end is more fun than running on a walkway overlooking the wall
Step 4. Minimize your stress levels
Of course, it's impossible to get the stress out of your life in the blink of an eye, but if you try and worry less about trifles, you will be much happier. Start small: clean your apartment so you don't get nervous every morning when choosing an outfit. Make your schedule 25% less busy than you do now so you have time for yourself. Avoid situations and people that make you nervous. You will be surprised how much this will affect the quality of your well-being.
- Try meditating. Meditations can help you calm your body and mind and live in the moment instead of worrying about stupid things.
- Start a blog. This will help you stay in control of your life and stress less.
- If you are so nervous that you can barely cope with your daily life, consider seeing a psychologist.
Step 5. Introduce changes to routine life
If you want to be happier, then you need a change. Perhaps the reason for the unhappiness was the feeling of "Groundhog Day". Try changing your breakfast menu. Spend time with new friends. Walk to work instead of driving. These little things can cheer you up and make you happier.
One innovation a day, even if you like it less than the old one, can make you feel happy
Step 6. Spend more time with your hobbies
Anyone will be happier if they devote more time to what they really love. If photography is your thing, spend more time with your camera. If you enjoy writing poetry, wake up half an hour early every morning and take some time off your weakness. If you love to cook, try to do it at least twice a week. You may think that there are more important things that require attention and time than your hobbies, but doing what you love will significantly increase your level of happiness.
Review your schedule. You may be able to replace some of the less fun activities with activities that you really enjoy. Or maybe it might be possible to rewrite the schedule more efficiently
Method 3 of 3: Part Three: Developing Happy Habits
Step 1. Get enough sleep
7-8 hours of healthy sleep will definitely make you happier. You will be surprised how much a good dream can change your mood and how a bad night can make you hate everyone and everything and think that the Earth is an unbearable place. Happy people place great emphasis on the health of their body and mind. You too need to prioritize these if you want to be happier.
Try to fall asleep and wake up at the same time every day
Step 2. Exercise regularly
It has been proven that regular exercise, even a short one of 30 minutes, can have a profound effect on a person's well-being. When you feel bad, of course, it is difficult to force yourself to get up and go to the gym or go for a run, but this is what will cheer you up. If you're bored with training alone, take a group yoga, dance, or guitar class.
Prefer physical activity over transportation. Even a 15-minute walk to a grocery store can cheer you up. Walk to work instead of using the elevator
Step 3. Smile more
Research has proven that laughter is inextricably linked to happiness. Even if there is nothing to smile about, your attempts will make your brain think that you are happy. If you smile at the people around you, they will reciprocate your feelings. And when you are surrounded by smiling people, you will involuntarily feel good. This is a safe bet, try it even if you have a gloomy mood.
Fake a smile until it actually appears. You may think that your smile is not real, but very soon you will be surprised how much it can make you happy
Step 4. Take time to experience happiness
Take a look back at your day and see what really made you happy. While you can't work just an hour a day and spend five hours with friends, you can make a few adjustments and devote more time to activities that make you happy. If yoga makes you happy, spend two hours more time on your yoga practice by watching TV. If you enjoy spending time with your best friend, then do so by reducing your involvement in corporate events.
You may not be able to figure out exactly at what point in the day you feel happy. Make a list of everything you've done in the day to see where your happiness comes from
Step 5. Make it pleasant to others
One study found that of the people who were given cash bonuses at work, the happiest were those who spent a significant portion of their money on others. This does not mean that you should spend all your money on your best friend, but it does mean that you should try to please others, such as helping a friend cope in the aftermath of a breakup or volunteering at a homeless shelter. None of these actions are self-sacrifice, because by doing good, you yourself will feel better.
- Do some good deeds during the week. This is a guaranteed way to achieve happiness for yourself.
- Don't do something nice to your friend just because it's his birthday. Give a friend a gift to show that you think about him and see how much joy it brings to both of you.
Step 6. Take some time just for yourself
If you want to be happier, you need to take time to think only about yourself. You don't have to be selfish, but you should have time that you will devote only to yourself, your thoughts, ideas and hobbies. You may have a crazy life schedule, but take a half hour or an hour of your time to indulge in a pleasant walk, write a blog post, or just think about the past week.
- Dedicating time to yourself will help you relax, unwind, and feel a little happier.
- Don't let your friends break your privacy at the last moment. Pretend you have an appointment with yourself and you can't miss it.
Step 7. Let things get out of your control
If you really want to be happier, you must accept that not everything in life will be under your control, from success and failure at work to your pet's health. After all, in fact, there is little you can control, including the length of your own life. The sooner you accept this fact, the sooner you realize that you do not control the events that happen to you, but you can control your reaction to them. To be happy or unhappy is your decision.
Of course, it's scary to admit to yourself that many things are controlled by an external force. But the sooner you accept it, the sooner you realize that your happiness is in your hands
- Go in for sports! Sport improves blood circulation and stimulates the production of happiness hormones.
- Eat healthy and wholesome food! You will feel satisfaction, and then happiness.
- If you feel sad or angry, it is sometimes helpful to be alone in this state. Surrender to observation. Entertain yourself to get rid of anger and sadness.
- Be grateful for what you have.
- If you are angry and there is no one to talk to you, just hit the pillow or stuffed animal hard. If you are sad, cry out and consider the reasons for your grief.