What is the nature of pain and feelings? These are thoughts that are triggered by some factors in our head and seem overwhelming. When faced with these feelings or thoughts, a person is usually poorly able to control them and the actions arising from them. Yes, many are able to suppress emotions or hide pain. But strong-willed, well-motivated people who are aware of what they are doing are able to deal with emotions (albeit to a certain extent). No, it will not make you completely invulnerable, but it will help you hold out longer and better deal with your fears. It is a cold feeling, and it is not for the faint in spirit, mind or body.
Step 1. Realize the strengths
Each of us has natural (and necessary) mechanisms to drown out pain and negative feelings. Much more difficult is the other - allowing yourself to experience these feelings fully (when you are ready) and accept them. Sometimes, however, it is important to mute them for a while. For example, when they are too strong for you to handle and you are not ready for it. It happens that these feelings come into conflict with your immediate needs, important for survival - just to survive, to make money, to interact with people who are unable to support you or your feelings, or to avoid possible dangers.
Step 2. Understand weaknesses
Read the warnings below. Hiding your feelings can slow you down and hinder healthy communication and trust.
Step 3. Control your irritation
Anger is most important to manage. It’s anger that prevents you from thinking rationally the most. Try to focus on your anger - and deal with it.
Step 4. Stop giving in to feelings indiscriminately
If you want to live without unnecessary regrets, then after you learn to deal with anger, start arguing with your sadness. Learn not to pay attention. This is the next step in learning - not to lose your head in feelings and emotions. Learn not to worry. Say, "I am in control of my life." Be bold and strong. Throw unnecessary things out of your head. You can’t be bothered by what you don’t let in.
Step 5. Get distracted
Don't sit alone, obsessing over feelings! Remember, whatever you feel is stupid compared to other things.
Step 6. Don't let physical pain hurt you mentally and cause stress
Indeed, it takes a fair amount of patience to learn to disregard physical pain. No, you don't have to cut your hands. You just need to learn to accept the feeling of pain that comes from blows and injuries as normal. To avoid seeing physical pain as aggression, try attracting a close friend as a sparring partner. It's good if he is bigger than you. Such training will clearly show the difference between physical and mental pain.
Step 7. Focus
It's time to understand the truth of life. On this truth and need to focus. All feelings come from thoughts and impulses in your head that tell you that something is going well or badly, like a burn or, say, a tickle. You need to realize that with proper effort and mental control, you can change your perception. So grief can be replaced by joy, condemnation with approval, and so on. All you have to do with pain is to tell yourself it doesn't hurt. It sounds simple, but in reality it is much more complicated than you might imagine.
Step 8. Seek support in wise sayings
Search Google for uplifting quotes. Try listening to songs with strong lyrics.
Step 9. Realize that pain does not last forever
Sooner or later, a light will appear at the end of the tunnel.
- The first and second steps do not seem to be very detailed. This is true. Only your own mind and way of thinking can find illustrations for them, examples that are important for your own life. Therefore, you really have to figure out the specifics yourself.
- Don't get overconfident. Such major changes in your life will surely be difficult. You should not deliberately provoke pain - cut, beat yourself (in every sense). There is already a lot of pain in life, soon it will surely come to you.
- Remember, this is all temporary. Everything will pass (as King Solomon correctly noted), and this too. Emotions will not accompany you all your life.
- Think about something wonderful in your life. Great love, great achievements. Reproduce the feeling that overwhelms you in such moments, and do not think about the bad.
- Your emotions won't go anywhere right away. They will still influence you, bypassing consciousness, sometimes in a very strange way, and it will be difficult to do something about them. Psychologists call this "dissociation," and the consequences of this effect can be severe. Read up on dissociative disorders, familiarize yourself with them, although you don't even think about them yet.
- Don't get hung up on yourself. Think about other people you might hurt - your loved ones, the people you care about.
- Whatever pain you are experiencing, whoever you are, there are always people who care. They can help you. It doesn't matter if it is your acquaintances or the voice on the other side of the “helpline”, or an employee of a psychological assistance center, or a fellow traveler in a compartment. Contact them for help with your problems. This conversion will give you more strength than if you were alone to deal with your pain.