Do you have a friend or relative who is struggling to get the grades they want in class or exams? Good grades in difficult subjects are not easy, but hard work is always rewarded. Cheer up a friend who gets bad grades and encourage them to keep working hard. Help loved ones deal with bad grades and give them hope for the future.
Part 1 of 3: Provide support
Step 1. Let the person talk
Sometimes listening is the best thing we can offer to a loved one who is not feeling well. Give him the opportunity to voice any complaints about his studies. Having voiced their own problems, a person will feel relief. Your attention will also make him feel cared for.
- Try to listen actively: turn to face the other person and maintain eye contact. Nod your head occasionally or say understanding words like "aha" or "exactly."
- When the person has finished speaking, try to reproduce the meaning of what was said with an emotional connotation. For example, say, "It sounds like you were very angry with your test score." There is no need to give advice or try to “solve” the problem at this stage.
Step 2. Share how you dealt with the failure
One of the modest ways to be supportive in these circumstances is to tell a friend about the difficulties you faced. The story can be about learning or be a story about solving other problems. Now it is important to convey the main message - if you do not give up, then the problem can be solved.
Sometimes it can be difficult to open up and tell the person about your difficulties. It is important to note that your personal story should help your friend understand that everyone faces difficulties, but temporary troubles do not deprive a person of their chances of success
Step 3. Offer any help you can
It is not in your power to correct the situation, but you are able to help the person differently. Are you well versed in a subject that is difficult for a friend? Try to casually suggest how best to approach the matter. Are you a good student? Share some helpful tips with a friend.
It should be understood that a friend is not always ready to accept help. Instead of looking for a way to help, it is better to ask the direct question, "Can I help you with something?" and listen to the answer. If he expects help from you, then let him make a specific request. Otherwise, your initiative may be perceived as an attempt to show your own superiority
Step 4. Remind the person of his other talents
Help your loved one increase their self-esteem. In the case of poor academic performance, people often suffer from low self-esteem. Praise the other qualities of the friend. Remind me of success in other areas.
Say something like this: "I understand that a bad grade in math is awful. Fortunately, you have no problems with a foreign language. In this you are the best in the class!" The main thing is that such a compliment is true, and the person understands that you are not embellishing the situation
Step 5. Be near
If a friend is upset with poor grades, then the best comfort you can give him is to be there. Don't leave your friend alone. Substitute a shoulder if he needs it. Trying to fix the situation or improve your friend's grades is not your job. Only he himself can solve his problem, but he will certainly appreciate your support at a difficult moment.
Part 2 of 3: Distract from bad thoughts
Step 1. Offer to take a day trip
If a friend or relative just found out about poor grades, then try to cheer him up with a spontaneous journey. If you have a license and a car, then choose an interesting place that you can visit in one day. Otherwise, you can choose an unusual place in the city or nearby.
The spontaneity of an unexpected decision will help you temporarily forget about bad grades. Also, such a trip is a great way to shake off everyday worries and have some fun
Step 2. Watch a comedy or funny videos
Everyone knows that laughter is the best medicine. Right now, your friend might want to relax and have a hearty laugh, even if only temporarily. Laughter will always cheer up a person who has not received the best marks. Research has shown that laughter reduces stress and has health benefits.
Open YouTube and find hilarious animal and child videos. Turn on the TV and watch a comedy. Your friend needs to relax and relieve tension
Step 3. Go for a walk
Has your friend locked himself in his room and became discouraged by poor grades? Just go for a walk, it's a quick and free way to improve your mood and get away from dark thoughts. It is best to go to the nearest park or garden rather than walking the streets of the city. Studies show that walking in nature can help lower levels of cortisol (a stress hormone) in the body.
Step 4. Have a dance party
Help your friend warm up and boost endorphin production through dancing. Make a list of your favorite songs and come visit him with this offer! Dancing improves mood and self-esteem, and is also a great workout for the body.
Dancing gives an outlet for emotions. In movement, it is easier for a person to get rid of anger, frustration and despair
Part 3 of 3: Find Motivation
Step 1. Offer time-tested advice to try again
Remind your friend that there are times when everyone has a difficult time and the next steps will always count. Show the importance of persistence and a positive attitude towards learning. Emphasize that effort is valued much more than ability. Not everyone can be an excellent student, but everyone is able to put in efforts and give all the best.
You can also choose inspirational quotes to help your friend get motivated to do the work. For example, tell him this phrase: "What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the butterfly calls his birthday."
Step 2. Say that ratings are not a reflection of a person's personality
If a person received a bad grade, this does not mean that he is a failure or lacks ability. A bad grade is just a measure of skill at a particular moment, and practice and diligence will help fix it. This is a temporary reflection of the level of knowledge.
- For example, say, "I can see that right now you can't figure out how to multiply fractions, but if you put in the effort, your next test will be much better!"
- You can also say: "I understand that such an assessment does not suit you, but it does not at all mean that you are stupid. It only means that you did not understand a specific topic."
Step 3. Help the person set achievable goals
After bad grades, a good friend always motivates his loved one with a proposal to set a goal to improve grades. The goal will help him focus on work, and the effort will increase his self-esteem.
Remember that the goal must be real and achievable, not fantastic. For example, if he got a deuce in this quarter, then it is unreasonable to strive to get a five in the next. Ask him to set a goal and correct a two for a three or four, which is much more realistic
Step 4. Offer to organize the work and plan the time wisely
Sometimes it happens that a very capable student does not deliver work on time or forgets to complete them. In this situation, your friend can be helped by organizational and time management strategies so that they can improve their grades. Consider simple yet powerful guidelines and tips:
- use a diary to record tasks;
- use folders of different colors and separate notebooks for certain items to conveniently organize the material;
- strive to complete tasks at least one or two days before the deadline;
- follow a consistent daily and weekly schedule;
- put in a backpack all the things and materials necessary for productive work;
- get rid of the clutter and distractions in the workplace;
- define work segments and breaks (for example, 30 minutes of work = 5 minutes of break);
- come up with your own system for taking notes;
- create a reward system to inspire yourself to complete tasks successfully.
Step 5. Refer a friend to connect with teachers
Sometimes the teacher has no idea how successful his methods are. Invite a friend to talk to the teacher about the reasons for your poor performance. Perhaps the teacher will advise you to complete additional tasks so that the student learns the material better, or recommend online services for self-study of the material.
- Also, your friend will benefit from the habit of answering in class and asking questions as they study the material. Practice raising your hand and asking questions with him at home so that he interacts better with the teacher in class.
- Invite him to review the old tests with the teacher to highlight the most problematic topics or types of problems. Also tell your friend to ask about extra activities and electives.