To be satisfied with life, you need to be able to change and adapt to change. Good news? No one but yourself can change your life. It's always difficult to get started, but once you've made up your mind and set yourself up for success, you can get past pretty much anything. If you are fed up with the current state of affairs, why not try to change your life?
Part 1 of 3: Define the problem
Step 1. Pay attention to the problems
When it comes to your life, you probably know what's wrong with it. It's your job? Friends? Relationship? Bad habits? What is your look? All of the above and something else? The problem is something you don't want to admit. You must know exactly what the problem is in order to be able to solve it. Luckily, you have all the answers.
It is possible that you are unhappy with everything. Very often, problems from one side of your life seep into the other. Don't let that scare you. After all, this is your life; you need to fix one thing or all of it in it, it is possible. A little more effort, that's all. You will need to readjust psychologically, but, again, this is not impossible
Step 2. Set your psychological barriers
You are stuck in an unimportant job - this is not a problem, it is a symptom of a problem. You are too afraid to look for a new one, or you are too lazy to give up the familiar and convenient routine. Have you heard this phrase - you are your worst enemy? This is just our case. You are not to blame for the role you were given, but you are responsible for how you play it. What patterns have kept you from fulfilling your role better?
The only way to change your way of thinking is to know your flaws. Change the way you think - change your behavior. Change Behavior - Change what happens to you. If you want to stop a problem, you need to nip it in the bud. This may seem to you a boring, unnecessary method to change your life, in fact it is not (at least, this method is not unnecessary). You must tackle these issues (your way of thinking, your psychological barriers) if you really want to change something in your life
Step 3. Think and ask yourself questions that will not make you happy
Are you ready for a brain blast? You live in the world of your thoughts. Think about it. Sit down now and make your brain think about it. Everything that happens is built by you, your thoughts, your mind. This should lead you to a couple of conclusions:
- Fine. You have the opportunity to live the way you want. If you wanted to believe that you want to be the Queen of England, you would. Once you believe that you are happy - and you are actually happy. The only person who can radically change your life is yourself.
- Think about what makes you unhappy. Much of this is just your imagination. You may actually have an unimportant job, you can't argue with that. You can be in a relationship with no future, be unemployed, addicted to drugs, prone to suicide, or just going nowhere. But the way you handle these situations can make a big difference. Everything can be simplified much. Of course, to simplify our attitude, not a way of solving. But knowing all this is already half the battle.
Step 4. Work on your attitude to everything that happens
If you want something good to happen to you, you must be in the mood for success from the start. Would you try approaching a nice guy or girl if you expected it to fail? That's it. You either cope or not with your gait, fear, nervousness and external self-doubt. Everything in life is about the same - in order to achieve success, you need to expect it. Therefore, if you treat everything negatively in advance, you need to urgently change this attitude.
Start treating everything positively. This can be tricky, so start with 15 minutes a day. As soon as negative thoughts appear, try to rebuild. It won't be easy and natural right away, but it will get better and better over time. In these 15 minutes, your "My life is terrible" should turn into "Now my life is not going smoothly, but I will try to do something about it." Work on this until you can block all negative thoughts. If your mind is ready for action, it will be much easier to get out of bed and start doing something
Step 5. Let yourself be strong
Surprise: Happiness doesn't come with getting rid of problems. There are many poor, hungry kids in this world who still smile and laugh every day. Many people in this situation of yours are happy simply because they are alive. Therefore, find the strength in yourself and be happy, understand that you are also worthy of success. Finally start taking control of your life instead of pretending to be an innocent spectator. Take the reins in your soybeans. You just have to figure it out.
You are reading this, so you want to do something, you want change. That's all you need - and you already have it! You must want to change your life. As soon as you want, everything will change. Must change. It can't help but change. Catch your motivation and grow it until it explodes. Be greedy for power. Changes are on the way
Step 6. Find what you like and move towards achieving it
It is difficult to change your life if you do not know in which direction to move. Find a passion, a goal, a dream, so that they show you the way, instead of looking for a needle in a haystack when it may not be there. So what's yours? Where would you like to be in six months or a year?
Do you want to stay and live in your city? Work in your previous job? Maybe you would like to start a new project or business? How about education? Anything right for you? There are no wrong answers. And yes, there can be more than one
Part 2 of 3: Sow the seeds
Step 1. Develop an action plan
Knowing exactly what you want, form a rough plan of action. Think of a few things that you are quite capable of doing to start moving in your intended direction. You don't have to start today or tomorrow, but you need to decide what and how you want to ultimately achieve.
We figured out what we wanted (resuming school, losing weight, quitting smoking, and so on); how can we achieve this now? That's what a plan is for. We need to know what our significant and insignificant actions will move everything off the ground. When the time comes, you will be ready for what the future has in store for you
Step 2. Remove the stone from the soul
Quit smoking, part with your worthless boyfriend, move out of an apartment where a bunch of unpleasant types constantly gathers. Just do it. This is what pulls you back. It is these things that form and feed your negative attitude towards everything, and it is they that are the obstacle, the mountain that you need to climb. It is unpleasant to break off a relationship with a friend who is poisoning your life. Living alone in a crappy apartment just sucks. Abstaining from smoking is generally unbearable. But you are capable of all this, and you yourself know that you need to do it. In the end, you will thank yourself.
Actions such as being fired from work fall into a different category. It is today, here and now, that you need a livelihood. Of course, as a last resort, you can quit and move to live with someone for a while. Better, of course, to start looking for a new job on the weekend. And no one promised that it would be easy. Sometimes, in order to make your life better, you have to destroy everything first. You need to be willing to put in the effort
Step 3. Find an advisor
For what? Because we all will not be hindered by the advice of a person who has gone through all this, we need his support and vigilance. If it seems to you that there is no well-worn person next to you, most likely you are mistaken. You just need to ask. The chances are slim that you are familiar with all the unpleasant stories from the lives of the people around you.
Although, it is more likely that when you read the phrase about the counselor, two or three names popped up in your head. It is natural. It is unlikely that people will refuse you advice. After all, these are the same people, they just have already gone through these tests. Just take advantage of the fact that such a person is next to you, open up to him and ask for advice when you need it
Step 4. Don't be fake
Don't be offended - we all pretend sometimes. We all sometimes agree to the invitation to go where we don't want to go, we all smile and nod, although inside we emit daggers with our eyes. We all do what is accepted in society without question. It's time to start asking questions. Refuse the invitation if you don't want to go. This is selfish, but it will make you better. This is not an excuse to be rude, this is an excuse to do what you really want to do.
The fact that you will be yourself will in no way offend the feelings of others. Refusing with the words “No, thanks. I don’t really want to.”, Not at all insulting. People may ask for further explanation, but you don't have to give it if you don't want to. You are doing everything right. If they do not understand this, this is already their problem
Step 5. Exercise, get enough sleep, and eat right
Your soul and body are inextricably linked - if the body feels good, it is much easier for the soul to feel good too. Three things your body needs to start taking over the world? Exercise, healthy sleep and good nutrition. Take time for this. It is your responsibility to yourself.
- For exercise, try to do 3-4 times a week. Anything from kickboxing in class to walking the dog will do. Just start practicing. Doubt it matters? Research shows that exercise can actually make you happier.
- Your decision-making skills are directly related to your healthy sleep. Actually. When body and mind are depleted, we don't have enough energy to make informed decisions. Need an example? That Mexican dish you decided to eat last night seemed like a good idea … Only what matters in your life matters. Therefore, try to allocate 7-9 hours for proper sleep. They will significantly affect how your remaining 15-17 hours go, as much as we hate to admit it.
- Your diet also affects your mood. Lean on grains, fruits and vegetables. Eating lean meats and lean foods will give you new sensations.
Step 6. Motivate yourself
Sometimes. It is the details that matter. If you quickly get out of bed in the morning, instead of still lying around, you will feel full of strength and energy, although this seems illogical. Listen to uplifting music to improve your mood. Rewarding yourself for the successes you have done - it will all give you strength and help you move on.
Put a nice ringtone on your alarm. If you are like most people, you are unlikely to wake up in a good mood. A negative morning can significantly cloud your day, so try to start your day as positively as possible. Put on the alarm clock a melody that can give you strength. You will see how easy it will be to change your negative attitude
Part 3 of 3: Becoming a Better Man
Step 1. Develop a regimen
Research shows that satisfied and successful people stick to a regimen. It is unlikely that in the daily routine of these people there is lying on the sides in bed and eating fried chicken in buckets; much more importantly, following a routine allows them to conserve energy. If you follow a routine, doing important things automatically allows you to spend energy on solving incoming problems. There are many healthy decisions you can make throughout the day, and this routine will keep you energized for more important activities.
In addition to the three things mentioned above (food, exercise, and healthy sleep), your routine also includes activities that make you happier. A little work, a little fun, time for self-improvement (whatever that means to you - meditation, job hunting, study, and so on)
Step 2. Make the most important decisions in the morning
Why? This will minimize the possibility of making decisions when emotionally and physically drained. Fatigue matters when making decisions, like that unfortunate thought of eating Mexican food at night. Closer to night, we are exhausted because we have done a lot of things in the day, and therefore we are not making the best decisions for our future. Do not do that!
Therefore, if something significant comes up, leave it until the morning. You need as much energy as possible to decide how to take action
Step 3. Do good deeds sometimes
One of the easiest ways to be a good person in life is to think of others. It's pretty easy and you will feel much better, not to mention that the world will be a better place. For a moment, you will forget about your problems and think about the problems of other people. What might you not like here?
Helping others invigorates like nothing else. It also helps us to get down, finally, to get out of the state in which we do not have enough strength to help ourselves. So whatever it is - donating clothes to second-hand shops or helping the homeless, give it a try. Maybe, by the way, improve your karma
Step 4. Seize the queue
No one can accelerate to high speed in a few seconds, including you. We all need help and a push in the right direction. No Olympian starts his race from a seated position. So do what you have to do.
Start attending the courses you want. See a doctor. Start looking for a job seriously. Give in to a fleeting urge and meet someone on the Internet. Start attending Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. Call your mom and apologize. Start going to the gym you drive past every day on your way home. The first step will be the most difficult, then everything will go on the knurled one
Step 5. Do what you have been planning for a long time
You think correctly, you have a beautiful body, which means it's time to do the same. What you were so afraid of. Do it. Step by step, depending on how long the journey to change your life is..
Are those courses you signed up for? Go on. Your doctor? Make an appointment. Submit your resume. Go on dates. Attend meetings. Get your family together for lunch. Climb onto that treadmill. You will be in such admiration for yourself and what you are capable of that you will no longer be stopped
Step 6. Re-evaluate periodically
Let it be like a diet for the soul. If the diet does not work, you need to give it up, so you need to periodically evaluate its effectiveness. Are you getting better? Is everything starting to slowly but surely turn in the right direction? Is it worth the effort you put into it? With the brain, everything is the same as with physical exercises - you need to periodically increase the intensity of the exercise.
- what works now may not be relevant after several weeks. Once you build on your success, move on to your goal. You can give up a lot in life, but not this.
- It will lead to the same result if what you think will work may not actually work. If this is your case, talk to your advisor and ask what to do next. Do you need to try to break through these obstacles, abandon this case, or maybe there is some other tactic to solve the problem?
Step 7. Don't give up
You are now in a precarious position - a step in the wrong direction and you will slide back where you started. So now focus on motivation. Positive thinking. Breathing. On myself. Do you know what happens if you give up? No, you won't give up !.