It is important to understand that a relationship or partner is not a guarantee of happiness, but no one is stopping you from acquiring useful skills and developing as a person. Relationships provide many opportunities for personal growth, even if the person is not ready for it. Relationships can improve communication skills, become a thoughtful and considerate person, and learn to put other people's needs ahead of your own. Learn to forgive and let go of painful situations. A person in a relationship should understand that learning is difficult, but there are ample opportunities for self-improvement.
Part 1 of 4: Interpersonal relationships
Step 1. Encourage each other
It's hard to develop and improve in unhealthy relationships. If your partner is abusive or violent, consider whether you can actually get better around them. Humiliation and insults cause unhealthy addictions and negative emotions. It is important to build a healthy relationship with a partner that promotes your growth.
Find out where your partner wants to be better and agree to help each other. For example, you want to form a habit of meditation, and your partner is interested in qigong gymnastics. Encourage each other to pursue their own interests, and sign up for group or individual lessons. So you can improve yourself and at the same time contribute to the development of your partner
Step 2. Don't repeat past mistakes
Think about what went wrong in a past relationship or is leading to fights with your current partner. What situations are repeated from relationship to relationship? Now work on these aspects. Perhaps you forget to warn your partner about changing plans, are constantly late, or forget about assignments (take out the trash or buy groceries). Consider your shortcomings and try to fix them.
- Think about what problems have arisen in past relationships (or even in current ones) and how you can prevent such situations. How can you do otherwise? Promise yourself to change. Learn to communicate better, show romantic feelings, or be with your partner more often. Show concern and support to grow as a person.
- Our articles will help you change and get rid of bad habits.
Step 3. Change together
In a long-term relationship, various changes are possible. If you or your partner change, then these changes will certainly affect the relationship. All the events that take place bring about changes: moving, studying, a new job or the birth of a child. Talk to your partner regularly about the changes, discussing their positive or negative impact on the relationship. Your actions not only strengthen or destroy the relationship, but also affect the overall quality of the relationship.
- Don't distance yourself from each other because of change. Learn to change together. For example, if your partner takes a new job, don't let it take away the joy of working together. Look for ways to have a good time with your partner, cook or read books after work.
- Try to adapt to change. The adaptation of a partner depends only on his efforts, so focus on yourself and just show support.
- If you are having trouble adjusting or forgetting to inquire about your partner's progress, then take time to talk. Discuss how you could support each other and improve your relationship.
Part 2 of 4: Communication Skills
Step 1. Listen
Listen carefully to what your partner is saying. Do not think about the future answer and pay all attention to the words of the interlocutor. During the conversation, watch out not only for words, but also for non-verbal messages. Maintain eye contact and don't turn away from your partner. Turn off your TV and don't get distracted.
The ability to actively listen involves reflecting on the partner's words to accurately understand the other person's thoughts. For example, say, "I see that you are tired today and just want to rest."
Step 2. Express your emotions
Learn to open up to your partner, share your feelings and concerns. Don't hide your joy, sadness, anger, resentment, or disappointment. The more you hide from your partner, the less you let him into your life. Remember that your partner cannot read minds and anticipate your wants or needs. Share your feelings and encourage your partner to do so.
If you are offended by the words of your partner, then gently say about it without accusations: “It hurt me that you decided to spend time with friends, because we have already discussed joint plans. It feels like friends are more important to you than me.”
Step 3. Empathize
Empathy helps strengthen relationships and understand each other better. Do not miss the opportunity to show empathy - listen carefully, learn to understand and “pass through” the emotional experience of your partner. This behavior can help solve problems and heal emotional wounds.
Learn to empathize with your partner and share his emotions. If he's had a stressful day, ask how you can help. If your partner complains about difficulties in communicating with your parents, then listen and show support. Show that you are caring and emotionally close
Step 4. Goodbye
The ability to forgive is the cornerstone of a relationship. Sometimes it is difficult to accept the fact that your partner sees the world differently, and your perceptions of the same situation differ significantly. Say goodbye to ease negative attitudes towards the abuser and to show empathy. Let go of the need to punish your partner or demand retribution.
Nobody is perfect, so at certain points in your relationship, you will surely feel cheated. Learn to forgive your partner and let go of negative emotions
Part 3 of 4: Positive emotions in a relationship
Step 1. Positive attitude
You may have already noticed your critical nature when you went to a restaurant with a partner and felt the need to evaluate the food or service. You may not like movies watched together. Soften criticism and focus on joy and happiness around your partner. Paying attention to the positive aspects will show your partner that you enjoy spending time together.
Don't hide your joy in meeting your partner. Demonstrate that you enjoy being around and spending time together
Step 2. Benevolence
Be kind to your partner even in difficult situations. Goodwill is always appropriate, whether it be moments of tenderness, resentment, or upset. A kind attitude affects your happiness.
- For the next two weeks, do a kind deed towards your partner every day. Prepare breakfast, fold laundry, buy gifts, or invite to the movies. Notice how your feelings and attitudes change.
- Take a look at the article on how to be kind.
Step 3. Gratitude
Feelings of gratitude have a positive effect on health, reduce depression, strengthen the immune system, improve relationships and an overall sense of well-being. Express gratitude in a relationship. Thank your partner for being around, for shared emotions, and for actions to strengthen the relationship.
Write a thank you letter. List everything for which you value your partner. Appreciation will not only please him, but also make you happier
Part 4 of 4: Taking care of yourself
Step 1. Learn to love yourself
Self-empathy creates a solid foundation for a relationship. Don't beat yourself up for mistakes and annoying blunders. Show compassion for yourself and learn to have compassion for others, including your partner. Compassion is an important aspect of a healthy relationship.
- It is important to take care of your body as well as your mental and emotional health. Keep track of negative thoughts about yourself and replace them with positive perceptions of yourself in general.
- Check out this article on how to love yourself.
Step 2. Healthy sleep
Lack of sleep negatively affects not only daily life, but also relationships. Have you noticed how after a sleepless night you start to find fault, get annoyed or rude to your partner? Sleep affects mental clarity, mood, and energy reserves. Lack of sleep results in an inability to control emotions, irritability, drowsiness, and loss of concentration. Adults need to get 7, 5 to 9 hours of sleep every night, and children need more than 9 hours. Make sure your partner gets enough sleep.
- Go to bed and get up at the same time every day. An accurate schedule will help your body develop a sleep pattern. Also, resist the urge to take a nap or go to bed early, even if you feel sleepy. Instead, do a simple thing - call a friend or wash the dishes.
- If you are unable to prepare your mind and body for sleep, then use the appropriate relaxation method. Do breathing exercises or mindfulness meditation, deep breaths, or relaxing exercises before bed.
- Check out our article on How to Improve Sleep.
Step 3. Physical activity
Regular physical activity is important for the health of the body and mind. People who exercise are happier and less prone to stress and depression. By reducing your stress levels, you also take care of the relationship. Exercise promotes mental and emotional health, benefits for physical health, mood, sex life, good sleep, and boosts energy reserves.