Many young people find it very difficult to behave confidently in the presence of girls. If you are one of them, you shouldn't label yourself as a lonely person. Shy people are reluctant to participate in social life because they are afraid to experience feelings of embarrassment and confusion. To overcome shyness, you need to learn to focus all your attention on the conversation and channel all your energy outward. By learning to control your feelings of shyness and then taking steps to build confidence, you can become the life of the party.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Overcome Shyness
Step 1. Determine what it means to be shy
There are different definitions of the word shyness. It is different for every shy person. In addition, shy people can behave very differently in different situations. Knowing in which situations you become timid and shy can help you control yourself and be a more confident person:
- do not dare to express your opinion in the company of other people;
- mumble and speak very softly;
- avoid social events;
- talk a lot because you are nervous.
Step 2. Identify situations in which you feel shy
Understanding that almost everyone experiences embarrassment at some point in their life can help you overcome feelings of shyness. It's natural to get nervous when you find yourself in a situation for which you were not prepared. If you can mentally prepare for the situation, you will be less nervous and shy because you know what to expect. Plan ahead and you'll be ready to take on the challenge because you won't be in a situation you don't know.
Step 3. Change your inner monologue
If you constantly think of yourself in a negative way, it will be difficult for you to become a confident person. Even if this is not the case, phrases uttered to yourself such as: "It's hard for me to be in society" - or: "No one will ever love me, I'm too strange" - will make you believe that you are not worthy of a girl's attention. Instead, repeat phrases that will help you become a more confident person:
- "I'm amazing!"
- "I like talking to people!"
- "Today I will meet new people."
Step 4. Stop analyzing people's words
Very often, shyness is the result of misreading a person's words. A person may think that others perceive him in a certain way and begins to relate to himself the same, although in fact no one thinks of him that way. Don't take people's word for it and don't worry about what others think of you.
Step 5. Focus your attention on the people you are talking to
Instead of focusing the entire conversation on yourself, talk about the people you are talking to. Don't start a sentence with the pronoun "I". Talk about what the other person is interested in. If you think less of yourself, you will not feel shy.
Step 6. Enjoy the conversation
If you enjoy communicating with a girl, then you are unlikely to be shy in her presence. Relax and have fun with her!
Part 2 of 3: Become a confident person
Step 1. Wear clothes that will impress
It is very important that you are comfortable in the garments of your choice and that you look good in them. It doesn't matter what you wear, what matters is how you feel about it. There is no clothing that can highlight your self-confidence. However, if you feel comfortable and understand that you really look good, others will perceive you as a confident person.
Step 2. Learn more about what interests you
When a person can discuss a topic in detail, it gives him confidence in talking to different people. Don't just limit yourself to news headlines. By self-education, you will be able to communicate with different people.
Step 3. When communicating with people, look them in the eyes
Communication is not just words. Sometimes how we speak is more important than our words. By looking a person in the eye during a conversation, we show that we are interested in him as an interlocutor.
Step 4. Set simple goals for yourself
Start by simply saying hello to the girl. Open the door to future conversations by taking small steps. Don't expect her to be your best friend if you've never spoken to her before. The more often you interact with other people, the easier you will find common language with girls.
Step 5. Practice talking in front of the mirror
Look at your facial expressions and think about what kind of reaction you expect when you interact with the person. Think about what you will say when communicating with the person. This will help prepare you for a good conversation. Smile when looking at yourself in the mirror. This will boost your self-esteem tremendously.
Part 3 of 3: Consider shyness as a virtue
Step 1. Say that you are a shy person
When you meet a girl, tell her that you are anxious and fight shyness. Many girls date shy guys. Even if you are shy, do your best to present your disadvantage as a virtue. By being shy, you shouldn't alienate people, but rather attract them to you.
- "There are a lot of people here and it's hard for me to talk to anyone because I'm a little shy."
- “May I sit down next to you? I am naturally shy and feel more comfortable in a quieter place. "
- “Getting to know people is a real challenge for me. Let's pretend we know each other. Thanks to this, I will not be embarrassed. "
Step 2. Laugh at your shyness
When interacting with a girl, try using your shyness as a way to make fun of yourself.
- “When I'm shy, I feel like a little child. Do you perceive me as little too? "
- "I would tell you a joke, but I am too shy, and therefore I always confuse words."
- "If I wasn't shy, it would be easier for me to know what you like."
Step 3. Get help from a friend
In some cases, being in the company of a friend makes it easier to meet girls. Ask a trusted friend to help you meet people and start a conversation with them.
Step 4. Live for today
Don't worry about how your conversation will end - focus on the present moment. It is easier to conduct a conversation by focusing on the topic being discussed rather than thinking about the future.
Advice
- Be yourself and don't worry about what other people think of you.
- Think positively and you will feel more confident.
- Don't expect quick changes, change gradually.
- Focus all your attention on the person you are communicating with. This will help you avoid worrying about being ridiculous.