Coming of age does not mean growing up. A person becomes an adult when he enters a new phase of his life and begins to take work, relationships with people and his future more seriously. As an adult, thoughts about their future needs arise, and superficial entertainment and meaningless activities no longer seem so attractive. If you feel like you're stuck in adolescence and feel the need to become a more mature person, you should check if you are ready for the next stage in your life. Remember that all adults are different. Perhaps what describes other adults will not apply to you.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Analyzing Relationships with People
Step 1. Assess the quality of relationships with people
As people get older, it becomes more difficult to maintain friendships. Your social circle may become wider, but your close friendships may decrease. Perhaps you have a few friends with whom you know from childhood and a few new friends who have appeared later. Think about how long you have been in touch with people, both romantic and friends.
- Do you manage to maintain strong relationships with people for a long time?
- Are you able to overcome difficult stages in life without losing touch with your friends?
- Have you had a long-term, stable romantic relationship?
- If you answered yes to any of these questions, you grow up.
Step 2. Analyze how well you are at resolving conflicts
Even the most mature people have arguments. How you behave in a conflict situation says more about you than what caused the conflict. Adults recognize that all people are different and remain calm. They may agree, disagree, or compromise. They also know when to apologize and are good at forgiving.
Remember that an adult and a passive person are different things. Just because you never fight back doesn’t mean you’ve matured
Step 3. Think about what you want from a romantic relationship
Young immature people need vivid emotions and passion. When a person grows up, he begins to look for a partner who is not only interesting, but also suitable in character. Ask yourself the questions below. If you answer yes to them, chances are your relationship is mature.
- Are you and your partner trying to solve relationship problems? Do you apologize to each other? Do you know how to forgive each other?
- Are you making compromises? Are you thinking about your partner's needs? What about your partner?
- Do you respect each other's personal boundaries? Do each of you have your own hobbies, interests, friends, your own job? Do you know how to respect each other's rights, not be jealous and not try to control each other?
Step 4. Imagine the ideal event
Where does it go? How many people are there? What do you do? In their youth, many people like noisy crowded parties in clubs or bars. As they get older, people begin to appreciate more relaxed activities with friends. Sometimes you may want to go to a noisy party, but dinner and board games at home seem more interesting to you.
If socializing and talking to people weighs more on you than partying and drinking, this is a sign that you are growing up
Step 5. Think about how you feel about children
As a person grows up, he begins to separate himself from the younger generation. You may not like young people's musical preferences, clothing, and entertainment. You may not even approve of what they choose in life and their behavior (it seems to you that your generation is better brought up). However, you can also admire their innocence, their ability to have fun, their humor, and their freedom from responsibilities, as these qualities are often lost with age. This means that you no longer belong to this group and consider yourself an adult.
If you have children, you may be worried about their future. Having children often forces a person to grow up quickly, and this can happen at any age. You may begin to wonder how your decisions will affect the lives of children, their behavior and their future. When making decisions, you will consider not only your own needs, but also the needs of the children
Method 2 of 3: Relationship to Commitment
Step 1. List your responsibilities and tasks
An adult not only has obligations, but is also able to deal with them on time. Think about what is your area of responsibility. Do you know how to complete all tasks on time and without reminders? Here is a small list of responsibilities that adults often have:
- taking care of children;
- caring for elderly parents;
- payment of rent or housing loan;
- keeping the car in working order;
- shopping for groceries and preparing meals for the family.
Step 2. Think about your priorities
In adolescence, the main priorities are to take care of yourself and to have fun. As we get older, priorities change to include caring for others. For example:
- You may be concerned about health, retirement, debts.
- You may be looking for financial stability, not wealth.
- You can start saving money for children's education and medical expenses.
- You may even be thinking about what to do in the event of your death or the death of your spouse.
Step 3. Think about your living conditions
Being independent is one of the main goals of an adult. If you know how to clean an apartment, do minor repairs around the house, and generally keep the house in order, you can say that you are an adult. Answer the following questions:
- How clean is your home? Order and cleanliness are a sign of maturity. You may be in the habit of washing dishes immediately after meals or vacuuming the floor once a week.
- Who do you live with? If you live on your own, it speaks of your independence. Living with your spouse or someone else means you are able to responsibly share your living space with others. If you live with your parents, this could be a sign that you are not yet an adult or that you have not yet achieved financial independence.
- Who is repairing? The ability to solve a problem if something breaks down speaks of maturity. If you are unable to solve the problem on your own, you should be able to call a specialist in time, and not wait until the situation worsens.
Step 4. Think about who depends on you
Being an adult means taking care not only of yourself, but also of others. Perhaps some people depend on you. Having addicted people is a sign of maturity. If you can answer yes to any of the following questions, then you have adult responsibilities:
- Do you manage a team at work? Are you in charge of specific clients? Are you required to complete certain tasks? Are you carpooling?
- Do you care about family members? Do you have any children? Do you have pets? Are there any sick or disabled people in your family?
- Do you help your friends when they need help? Are you in charge of certain friendly events?
Step 5. Assess your financial situation
Many people see financial stability as a sign of growing up. However, not all young people manage to quickly achieve financial independence, and many turn to their parents for help for some time. Analyze your financial situation. How good are you at making money? Ask yourself the questions below. If you answer yes to many of these questions, it means that you can be considered a financially independent person.
- Do you pay taxes?
- Are you paying your rent or home loan? Do you manage to pay everything on time?
- Are you saving money? Are you investing them?
- Do you pay all bills on time?
- Are you worried about your credit history?
- Are you in debt? Are you able to pay them on time?
Method 3 of 3: Thinking and Habits
Step 1. Think about the future
Where do you see yourself in five years? Ten years? Do you have a plan or are you just waiting for something to happen to you? In childhood, a person lives in the present moment. Perhaps he is thinking about what will happen tomorrow or in the coming months. An adult, on the other hand, seriously evaluates his future. He may strive to do something that will affect the future and seek stability rather than adventure. Growing up can manifest itself in different ways:
- You have decided to save money for retirement.
- You started buying more expensive, reliable items that will last a long time, instead of cheap items that you plan to quickly throw away.
- You are planning to become a parent. If you already have children, you make plans for their future, not just yours.
Step 2. Think about the importance of health to you
The more mature a person becomes, the more clearly he understands how his decisions affect health. The person begins to think about nutrition and sports. He may also start exercising more to maintain his figure. A person can worry about death. Think about your attitude towards your own health.
- Are you concerned about joint pain or lack of flexibility?
- Do you exercise for longevity?
- Do you play sports for heart problems or to solve a health problem (like high cholesterol)?
- Are you worried about high levels of salt, fat and sugar in your diet?
- Do you often think about your death?
Step 3. Think about how you make decisions
In adolescence, people are often guided by what their peers, relatives and society think of them. They can make decisions based on the wishes of the parents or on what is considered acceptable and expected in their environment. If you are able to make decisions based only on your interests, this speaks of maturity.
There may come a point in life when you stop considering the opinions of others to be important and start doing things that make you happy. Your desires may or may not match the expectations of others
Step 4. Analyze how your tastes have changed
What did you like 10-20 years ago and dislike now? What do you like now, but did not like before? You may have reconsidered your attitude towards things that seemed boring or unpleasant to you. Here are some signs of growing up:
- You may decide that the music that teens and students enjoy is just awful compared to the music you listened to at their age.
- You may like movies and shows that seem boring.
- You have a desire to think over the design of the house and remove posters from the walls.
- You enjoy cooking, not fast food.
Step 5. Assess your habits
Adults often have many habits that shape their way of life. Think about these habits. What do you do everyday? Can you give up any of these cases? Are certain rituals helpful in coping with difficult situations? These habits can be:
- a cup of coffee every morning;
- meeting with your spouse on the same day every week;
- inability to go to bed without brushing your teeth;
- dinner at the same time every day.
Step 6. Reflect on the feeling of nostalgia
Adults often look back at their past. If you often think back to your best times, it may indicate that you have become an adult.
Even if you enjoy remembering the past, try to live in the present. Perhaps in 10-20 years what is happening to you now will seem like the best times to you
Step 7. Pay attention to whether you follow the events in the world
Perhaps now the situation in the world worries you more than before, and you read or watch the news more often. You may even be interested in politics. All this indicates an adult's interest in what is happening.
Perhaps you are concerned about how the global market or cataclysms affect not only your life, but also the lives of others. Perhaps for this reason you decided to donate money to charity
Step 8. Find out how many hours you sleep
You may not now be able to afford 10 hours of sleep due to the sheer number of responsibilities. For example:
- Instead of getting more sleep, you get up earlier to tidy up, get busy, and get ready for the new day.
- You may have started waking up earlier out of habit or have given up naps.
- The need to get up earlier to get busy no longer scares you as it used to.
Advice
- Many factors affect the growing up process, and you can be an adult even if you don't fit the classic definition of a mature person. For example, living with their parents is often considered a sign of immaturity because they are financially and emotionally dependent on their parents. However, if one of the parents is sick and the person is caring for the sick, this indicates that the person is an adult and mature.
- Politeness can also be a sign of growing up. For example, you have stopped calling people by their nicknames and referring to them by their first names.
- Age is not a criterion for maturity. Some may be completely independent at 18, while others may find it difficult to grow up at 30 or even 40.
Warnings
- Many of the signs of growing up are due to the culture of the country and depend on a number of circumstances. In each case, the person makes a choice. Perhaps you will not give up your love of sweets and will remain a sweet tooth for life. You may never be a tidier person, like getting up early in the morning, and dressing or behaving according to your age.
- Becoming an adult doesn't mean giving up everything interesting. Don't take yourself too seriously. An adult who can see the world through the eyes of a child will never lose curiosity and wonder. Just don't confuse this with childish behavior.
- The biggest danger of growing up is that people have little time in life, so they often give up what they like and do what they find boring, just because they want to conform to social norms. Avoiding artificial restrictions will allow you to maintain youth and zest for life.