Self-confidence is essential if you want to connect with people, study well and pursue a career. If you lack this confidence, you should develop it. To build self-confidence, you need to understand the situations in which you feel uncomfortable and what you can do to make yourself more confident. In addition, you should look at everything with a positive attitude. Learn how to build self-confidence in this article.
Method 1 of 4: Identifying Difficult Situations
Step 1. Understand your negative thoughts and attitudes
To build self-confidence, you need to work with negative thoughts and attitudes. Write down all such thoughts and attitudes in a special diary every day, then analyze everything written to understand the reasons for the thoughts. What situations or people evoke these thoughts and attitudes in you?
Step 2. Understand what situations affect your self-confidence
Many people have triggers that negatively impact their self-confidence. Try to understand what situations or places are preventing you from feeling more confident. Knowing what triggers the insecurity will make it easier for you to solve the problem.
For example, you might be overwhelmed by uncertainty when you walk into the gym. Think about what it is in this situation that makes you feel insecure, and work on the problem. Perhaps it's all about your clothes? Or in choosing a simulator? Or are you better off going to the gym when there are fewer people?
Step 3. Find out if other people influence your sense of self
Criticism from a friend or relative can hurt self-esteem. If you feel like someone is influencing your perception of yourself, find a way to adjust your communication with that person.
Step 4. Think about your lifestyle
Sports, proper nutrition and relaxation improve self-reliance. If a person does not take care of himself, the brain perceives this as a sign that the person does not value himself. To ensure that only the right signals come to your brain, monitor your health and the needs of the body.
Step 5. Think about your surroundings
In a pleasant environment, people feel better about themselves. If the house is dirty and uncomfortable, the person may feel uncomfortable. Try to keep your home or at least your room tidy. Place items in prominent places that will make the room special and comfortable.
Method 2 of 4: Developing Self-Confidence
Step 1. Say good things to yourself
Positive affirmations will strengthen your self-esteem. Before going to work or school, look at yourself in the mirror and say something encouraging to yourself. You can comment on something that you already have or something that you want to achieve. Here are some examples of positive affirmations:
- I am a smart person.
- I am a good father.
- I have achieved a lot in life.
- People like to spend time with me.
Step 2. Acknowledge your negative thoughts and start fighting them
Everyone has negative thoughts, but they visit a person more often if he is not confident in himself. It is important to acknowledge the presence of negative thoughts and begin to deal with them. Try to analyze the thought and tell yourself that you refuse to believe it.
For example, if you think that you are stupid, tell yourself that this is just a thought: "I was struck by the thought that I am stupid." Then replace that phrase with a positive one: "I am an intelligent person."
Step 3. Introduce yourself as a confident person
Visualization is a powerful tool for building your confidence. Close your eyes and remember a moment when you were successful at something or when you felt very confident. Try to remember this moment in the smallest detail: where you were, who else was there, what you said, how you felt. Play this scene in your head every day.
Step 4. Leave special notes for yourself
Place notes around the house to help you feel more confident. Stick the sheets of paper all over the house, on drawers at work, and wherever you will often see them. The more often you read something pleasant about yourself, the sooner you will believe it.
You can write "You are great!", "You have great ideas!", "You are doing great!" Unleash your imagination
Step 5. Surround yourself with positive people
People can influence self-esteem. If your friend criticizes you often or looks at the world negatively, it might be time to change your company. You can also try talking to friends about negative comments about you and asking them to stop saying something unpleasant to you.
Remember, you cannot change the other person. You can only change your reaction. Try to maintain a positive outlook on the world, even if there are many negative people around you
Step 6. Take care of yourself
Exercise, eat wholesome foods, and rest and unwind. By looking after yourself, you are telling your mind that you deserve to be taken care of. Get enough time to exercise, eat, sleep, and rest.
- Try to exercise for at least 30 minutes every day.
- Eat right - eat fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean meats.
- Sleep 8 hours every night.
- Set aside at least 15 minutes daily for yoga, deep breathing exercises, or meditation.
Method 3 of 4: Standing Up for Yourself
Step 1. Understand the importance of being able to present yourself
If you can stand up for yourself, or at least speak up at the right moment, it indicates that you are confident in yourself. If you lack this confidence, it will be difficult for you to assert yourself. By working on your ability to stand up for yourself, you will become more confident and the people around you will perceive you as a confident person.
Step 2. Recognize your rights
To declare yourself means to believe that you should be heard. Think about why people should listen to you, believe what you say, and respect your words. Keep a journal in which you can document all your thoughts and feelings about the statement about yourself. Consider how your lack of courage gets in the way of your interactions with people, at school and at work.
Step 3. Think about the situations in which you should be more bold to declare yourself
In some situations, it can be especially difficult for you. Consider why these situations are especially difficult for you to speak up and defend yourself. Write about these situations and what you would like to change.
- Describe the situation and the people associated with it. Where and in front of whom is it difficult for you to express your opinion?
- Describe your feelings. How do you feel when you can't stand up for yourself?
- Describe what you would like to change. How would you like to react in such situations?
Step 4. Practice expressing your opinion
Before you start acting in difficult situations, it is better to practice. You can do this on your own or with a friend. Play simple situations in which you need to speak up, and then move on to more difficult ones. You can repeat the same statement over and over in a calm voice.
- For example, imagine a friend asks you to go to a party with him, but you don’t want to because you’re tired and not feeling well. You might say, "I don't want to go. I want to stay at home and rest."
- Speak calmly and do not lose your temper. Repeat your answer every time he asks you to go to a party.
- Keep in mind that things in life can go differently than during training. Try to try all the reactions to be ready for anything.
Step 5. Start expressing your opinion for real
As you practice being more open about your opinions, try putting new skills into practice if you feel more confident. Start small and work your way up to more complex social situations.
- Start small: share your opinion during a conversation, speak up during a business meeting.
- When you feel more confident, try your hand at more difficult situations: object to someone or refuse a colleague or friend who is pushing you.
Method 4 of 4: Self-Confidence in Dealing with People
Step 1. Learn to accept compliments
Compliments release tension and make communication more enjoyable. If you are unsure of yourself, it can be difficult for you to accept compliments. Perhaps you become uncomfortable or give up on them right away. To feel more confident, you need to learn how to properly accept compliments. The next time someone praises you, don't give up on the nice words and thank the person who said them.
- For example, say this: "Thank you, I am very pleased" or just "Thank you!"
- Learn to compliment others. This will allow you to divert attention away from yourself and make you feel more confident. The ability to compliment people speaks of self-confidence.
Step 2. Accept that you cannot influence the behavior of other people
Sometimes people lack confidence because they are too dependent on other people's reactions to their actions. To solve this problem, you have to come to terms with the fact that you cannot change other people and cannot influence how they react to everything. Don't scold others for their mistakes or try to change them.
Step 3. Try to maintain a positive attitude
To be confident in yourself, you need to have a positive attitude towards the world, even if the people around you upset you. Remember that your future, your goals and your happiness depend only on you. If someone tries to hurt you, remind yourself of your accomplishments and positive personality traits. The glass is always half full!
Try to smile and laugh even if you don't feel like it. Scientists have found that even smiles and laughter through force add self-confidence and optimism to a person
Step 4. Remain calm
Staying calm in a difficult situation is always difficult, but it will make you feel more confident and let everyone know that you are a confident person. If you're feeling overwhelmed, angry, or upset, take a couple of deep breaths. Count to ten and only then return to the problem.