"Oh, love is not an easy thing, -Ask a wise man how to comprehend the science of Love," - wrote the poet William Butler Yates. Sometimes it's very hard to say that someone is in love with you, even if you've been dating for a while. But love can be expressed in multifaceted ways, such as long-term devotion, as well as signs such as your friend's actions and words, which can help you determine if she loves you.
Method 1 of 3: Identifying Signs of Long-Term Attachment
Step 1. Distinguish between the concepts of being in love and being in a state of love
While there are many complex feelings associated with falling in love with someone, it is usually a very passive and emotional experience. But being in love can be incredibly difficult and requires a more active and involved approach to relationships.
- Think of “love” as a verb or action that you must continue to strengthen and support as you move further in your relationship. Consider how your friend is actively nourishing and developing her relationship with you, and that your relationship is just good, not better than it was when you first fell in love.
- Through actions and words, your friend can strengthen your relationship in even small or seemingly insignificant ways, and take the relationship seriously on a daily basis.
Step 2. Think about how you both deal with the conflict in your relationship
Most couples with poor conflict resolution skills start to row, distance, and ignore each other. This is how they fight and continue to get angry with each other, sometimes holding back their grievances or resentments for months or years. They hide from problems and avoid uncomfortable or difficult questions by hiding them in a distant corner. Or they avoid each other and become isolated, blocking any attempts to communicate or discuss the problem.
- Happy couples who have been together for a long time will try to work on solving any problems and let them go. They will focus on the problem itself, not on attacking each other or surviving each other.
- In a healthy, affectionate relationship, both partners must be able to forgive and forget, as any ongoing resentment that is not resolved in the right way or is not dealt with can lead to further scandal or conflict in the long run, and interfere with maintaining the relationship over the long term.
Step 3. Consider if you both have similar priorities and goals in life
This is an important step in connecting your life with your friend in a practical way and will be an important step in forming her commitment to you.
Opposites can attract, but they rarely form good long-term relationships and compatibility in your tastes and preferences, just as your values, priorities, and life goals will help create a deep and lasting bond between you and your girlfriend
Step 4. Determine if you and your friend have four indicators of intimacy
Authors Ronald Adler and Russell Proctor II have identified four ways in which we can feel intimately connected with our significant other: physical, emotional, intellectual, and cooperative action. Do the following exercise to see if you and your friend have all four indicators of intimacy:
- Draw these four indicators along a vertical line. Record Partner A and Partner B at the top of the metrics list.
- Next to each metric, write in order whether it is mandatory or advisory, or a possible metric for your relationship.
- Pass the list to your partner, and now have him put down these indicators in order. Alternatively, write down how you think your partner would prioritize these metrics.
- The more combinations of “should - should” and “should - recommended” between you and your partner, the greater the possibility of a close and long relationship. Since no relationship is permanent, especially healthy, loving, the rating of each indicator can change and will show compatibility over time.
- Understanding each other's priorities, especially in these basic areas, will help you achieve long-term success in relationships and love.
Step 5. Ask your friends and family what they think of your friend
If people close to you urge you to break up or leave your girlfriend, this may be a sign that this person is not for you.
While trusting your own instincts and feelings is important, it is usually a positive sign if your friends and family are maintaining your relationship with a friend and think you have a chance for a long-term future together
Method 2 of 3: Focusing on your friend's words and actions
Step 1. Listen to the tone of her speech when she speaks to you
Compare how she talks to you and how she talks to others. If your partner uses a pleasant, compassionate, and caring tone when talking to you, it is likely that she considers you a special person in her life and really cares about you.
Step 2. Notice if she wants to spend most of her time with you and if she calls you often
Dedicating time to relationships is a major indicator of a long-term relationship, especially if your partner is trying to balance the time that needs to be spent on other important things like school, work, or family. Someone who really cares about you will use any free time to spend with you.
Feeling love triggers the release of serotonin in your brain, and it is believed that high serotonin levels can make you constantly think about your partner. Therefore, the more your partner calls or speaks to you, the more he thinks of you, which is a (chemical) indicator of his feelings of love for you
Step 3. Consider if she asks about your day when she sees you
While this may seem like a minor gesture to you, it will show that she is interested in even the smallest details of your life. These checks will also keep the lines of communication between you open and create a practical, supportive element in your relationship.
Step 4. Pay attention to the signs, whether she respects your opinion and your decision
Perhaps your political views differ or you have different ways of preparing risotto. Regardless of all these differences, she should still be interested in your prospects' plans for the future and treat your submissions with respect and interest.
- If your partner truly cares about you, they should listen to your views and ideas and participate in public discussions about topics with which you may disagree.
- She should also be fluent in talking to you about her decisions from simple mundane things like where you should have dinner to asking if she should move to a new position at work. While she may not always heed your advice, she should nevertheless be interested in what you have to say and take it into account.
Step 5. Notice whether she is following you or asking you constantly where you are
Affiliates who really have an interest in you will take your word for it and will not look at your mobile or check your credit card bills to determine where you have been or who you have been with, as they will seek to trust you.
This trust shows a genuine interest in you and is a strong sign of a long-term relationship
Step 6. Consider if your friend is happy with you
A partner who is truly interested in you will support your self-esteem and sense of self. This should provide positive reinforcement and make you feel loved.
This does not mean that your relationship will always be heavenly, but in general, you should feel that your friend gives you confidence and support, and not negative thoughts or low self-esteem. If you are with someone who makes you feel comfortable, you will not only want to spend more time with them, but you will also want to value yourself more when you are not with your partner
Method 3 of 3: Discussing Your Feelings
Step 1. Create an intimate home environment
Declarations of love are harder for you or her to make in a crowded room, so make dinner at home or invite her to a secluded spot in the park where you can honestly talk about your feelings.
This will help you understand everything and help you feel more open and genuine in the conversation
Step 2. Be honest and straightforward
Without shirking the conversation and speaking bluntly, you can know exactly how your friend feels about you.
Step 3. Don't be afraid to show emotion
Your girlfriend may need some support to tell you how she feels for you, so feel free to express your emotions.