Whether you are a man or a woman, homosexual or heterosexual, you probably know that in moments of intimacy with your partner, you can strengthen and deepen your love and passion. But it can also be a source of intense stress. This is due to the fact that opening up to a partner during sex or physical intimacy, we become emotionally vulnerable, and any difficulties and mistakes are experienced much more painfully than if they took place in another area of your life. Problems like these cannot be ignored, because issues related to intimate life can seriously affect the relationship in general.
Method 1 of 2: Before intimacy
Step 1. Learn to show your attraction gradually
If you have no experience of intimate relationships with your significant other, there is no need to despair. Because if you allow this feeling to take over, you will suffer and constantly be embarrassed. Instead, gradually discover the delights of physical intimacy with your partner: start with the smallest manifestations of passion and gradually move on to more explicit and intimate actions. The emotions that you show during intimacy are very bright and lively, so you don't need to rush, as they say, into the pool with your head until you get used to light touches and kisses.
Step 2. Do something that requires close physical contact
If you don't know how to take your relationship with your partner to a new, more intimate level, start small. By doing something that requires close physical contact, you create a kind of bridge to intimacy. Snuggle up to each other during a movie show, ride a motorcycle or roller coaster, in general, do whatever, as long as you have to snuggle up to each other. Even if you just sit next to and lightly touch your feet, it can have a greater effect than if you do not.
Step 3. Hug
Once you get used to touching each other, you will most likely begin to cuddle or cuddle with him. By tucking your head against his chest, you can relax and feel the connection between you, both physical and psychological, strengthens.
Don't underestimate the time you spent in your partner's arms - as the relationship develops, these moments can become rare and you will feel nostalgic for them
Step 4. Holding hands is also a sure sign of mutual sympathy and attraction
This may seem like innocent childishness, but it is a great way to express your feelings, especially if the situation is such that more explicit and explicit expressions of sympathy are inappropriate and contrary to the rules of decency. For example, in this way, you can behave in public, where more explicit gestures are unacceptable. Holding hands can also be done when there is no way to show more romantic signs of attention. For example, when you are trapped in the back seat of a crowded car. While this gesture by no means expresses violent passion, it is the most universal.
Step 5. You can express your passion through kissing, but you shouldn't take a light nip on the lips too seriously
This is a very important point! Kissing is the next step after hand-walking and hugging. This is a kind of way to demonstrate your care and passion for your partner, so your kisses should not leave your soul mate indifferent. Ideally, the first kiss with your loved one should be desperate and long, like a sip of water in the desert. But, of course, not all couples succeed in the perfect first kiss (and in general, the first pancake is always lumpy), so you shouldn't invest too much in it. Think of this event as fun, enjoyable for both, in which each of you puts a lot of passion.
Step 6. Be playful
The prospect of being physically intimate with your partner shouldn't scare you. If you still feel fear or anxiety about this, you should talk frankly with your boyfriend or girlfriend and discuss all the issues related to sex that torment you, because this is not only an opportunity to show your passion and desire, but it is simply pleasant. spend time alone with your loved one. Therefore, your attentions should be light and unobtrusive. You can tease your partner a little - this is a great way to rekindle the desire in him. Try tickling him or her lightly as you hug, or deepen the kiss. If your teasers are humorous and you factor in potential irritation from your partner, this can be a great prelude to sex.
Step 7. Stay healthy and happy
It should be mentioned here that your attitude to what is happening is not the only factor that affects your ability to have an intimate relationship with your partner. Your physical and mental health also affects your perception of intimacy. It should be mentioned here that it is very important to follow the rules of hygiene. There can be no exceptions to this rule - no matter how romantic you are, if you exude an unpleasant smell, this will negatively affect the quality and duration of sex. It is also worth paying attention to your physical fitness so that you not only feel like the most desirable person for your partner, but also look appropriate. On the psychological side of intimacy, you may have to deal with various sources of stress to ensure that they do not negatively affect your ability to enjoy intimacy.
- Exercise. Studies have shown that regular exercise can help you feel better due to the release of the substance endorphin, which is considered the hormone of happiness, during exercise. It is a source of euphoria and a sense of satisfaction, allowing you to tune in the right mood before sex. And as a bonus, regular exercise makes you look more attractive and fit.
- Do not be afraid to talk to other people about your problems and sources of stress, in particular, do not neglect conversations with psychologists. In addition to friends, loved ones, and confidants such as teachers and priests, psychologists can also help you speak out loud questions that plague you, that put you under stress or affect your ability to enjoy sex.
Method 2 of 2: Intimacy
Step 1. Reconsider your attitude towards sex
Physical intimacy in the form of sex is not a show, a competition, or a game. Rather, it is one of the few ways to sincerely express your love for someone and strengthen the bond between you and your chosen one. At the very least, it should be fun, you should relax and feel happy, not stressed. You do not need to assume that everything in sex obeys some rules, and you can make a mistake, on the contrary, this is a chance for you and your partner to be yourself. This attitude will allow you to see your partner in a new light - after all, he may have specific sexual preferences.
For example, a heterosexual couple has problems in intimate life because a man is too fixated on what kind of lover he is. He operates with the erroneous judgment that he should have the leading role in sex, because it is the man's task to be active and experienced. Ironically, this far-fetched concern is the reason he is unable to gain self-confidence and positive sexual experiences, which means he cannot be a good lover. If this person saw sex as a form of self-expression, and not as an opportunity to play a predetermined role, he would get more pleasure from the process of intercourse
Step 2. Take time for romance
Sex, like any other hobby or hobby, takes time and effort to improve. You can use the traditional manifestations of romance: light candles, have a glass of wine and sit on the sofa, start a heart-to-heart quiet conversation, enjoying this intimate moment. Alternatively, you can try something more non-standard, specific only to your couple. Let's leave it up to you. But remember, whatever you do, the surroundings should set you up for full and pleasant intimacy.
Step 3. Learn to massage
This is an insanely erotic and passionate activity that is often used as a prelude to sex to get closer to a partner. You may need a special oil with a neutral composition, especially if your partner is allergic to any of the ingredients. If he or she is healthy, you can choose between scented lotion or oil, depending on your spouse's preference. The pleasant sensations and smells will help you relax and turn on.
Touching your partner and feeling the response is very important for both of you, so learn to not only take, but also give. If you are too sensitive for the massage and it makes you laugh uncontrollably, try to relax in advance by doing some exercises, or soak up the warm bath
Step 4. Be as open as possible and don't be afraid to discuss sex
Talk to your partner about this from time to time to find out what he likes and what he doesn't. Many people can be humble enough when it comes to expressing emotions hidden somewhere deep within. In this case, talking about sex without engaging in it is very important, because this is the only way to find out whether both partners are getting satisfaction from the process or not.
You should get in the habit of focusing on whether your partner is getting satisfaction from the process. If both partners begin to relate to sex in this way, it becomes an opportunity to test and strengthen feelings
Step 5. Go to bed together
It may seem obvious, but due to the busy work schedule and the need for parenting, many couples do not have the opportunity to go to bed at the same time. Walking into the bedroom and going to bed together will not necessarily lead to sex, but it will provide an opportunity to build a foundation of trust and form a close, intimate bond between you. Many heart-to-heart conversations took place with a partner in bed, because this is the only time in the whole day when the couple, most likely, will not be bothered by anyone else. Taking the time to do this increases your chances of physical or mental intimacy.
If your work schedule simply does not allow you to go to bed at the same time as your partner, try to spend at least a little time in bed with your loved one before he or she gets up, for example. Also develop conditioned signals that would indicate that your partner is ripe for intimacy
Step 6. Spend a lot of time in foreplay
Teasing, kissing, petting, and other techniques are great tools to allow both partners to increase their enjoyment. This is also a good way to find out preferences, as people tend to be frank only when, when they are in the mood. There is no need to rush anywhere, it is better to enjoy every moment spent with each other. …
Step 7. Don't start doing things that make you feel uncomfortable
Experimenting during sex is very positive and healthy because it expands your influence. But if you do something and do not take into account the interests of your partner, you can start, in this way, humiliating him or her. Before doing anything, check with your partner first, and under no circumstances do something that he would not like.
Step 8. Do not drive your intimate relationships into any framework, trying to comprehend their essence from books and tests
It is also very important to understand that you cannot demand anything from your partner sexually, as well as he from you. Sex that you are not ready for can negatively affect your psyche, leaving a deep wound in your heart. You don't need to overpower yourself to make love out of a sense of duty or a desire to make your partner happy. A person who understands and loves you will understand everything and will wait as long as necessary. Time will pass and you will become a confident lover. Listen to your inner voice and don't compromise with yourself.
Step 9. Unleash your curiosity and fantasies
Be patient and calm, earn your partner's respect, and take the time to feel more comfortable and confident as your lover. Your love is mutual and every day it only grows stronger. Therefore, you may well share your fantasies with your partner and even make some of them come true. As long as it brings fun and pleasure to you and your chosen one, you can experiment as much as you like.
- You will become a truly whole person. only next to the person you are dating
- One-night stand relationships can be fun, but they only become meaningful when the person we love is with us.
- In intimate relationships, as in conversations, both of you should be responsible. Study your partner's preferences and try to satisfy him to the extent that he satisfies you.
- Practice safe sex. Use condoms to prevent infection with sexually transmitted diseases. (And after all, sperm can penetrate through a condom).
- Don't let anyone drag you into actions you are not ready for. Take the time to study and look at the person, and then match against your desires. Because no one has the right to put pressure on you.