How to ask a girl for a phone number: 11 steps

Table of contents:

How to ask a girl for a phone number: 11 steps
How to ask a girl for a phone number: 11 steps

You may be afraid to ask your girlfriend for a phone number, but this step can be the start of a new relationship. Anticipating a girl's reaction is difficult, and fear of rejection can make you back down. If you really liked the girl and you want to get to know better, then it is important to gather your courage and ask her for a phone number.


Part 1 of 3: How to Prepare

Ask for a Girl's Phone Number Step 1
Ask for a Girl's Phone Number Step 1

Step 1. Understand that the girl may refuse you

She is not required to provide her phone number upon first request. There are many reasons why a girl might say no.

  • Try to use this fact to your advantage. Refusal is the worst thing that can happen in such a situation. You can think a lot about what else could go wrong, but in fact, nothing terrible will happen to you. At most, you will never find out the girl's phone number.
  • Be prepared for rejection. It is difficult, but if you accept this fact, then the whole situation will no longer seem so scary and frightening.
Ask for a Girl's Phone Number Step 2
Ask for a Girl's Phone Number Step 2

Step 2. Try to psychologically tune in

Confidence is not only an attractive trait, but also an opportunity to feel calm. Learn more in our article on How to Be Confident.

  • One way to gain confidence is to try to see the whole situation. Today, such a request may seem like something important, but after a year you probably won't even remember that you were scared.
  • It is possible to survive rejection, but it is not the only possible outcome.
  • It sounds strange, but try standing in Superman pose for a few minutes before asking. Some experts are convinced that this can help you feel confident.
Ask for a Girl's Phone Number Step 3
Ask for a Girl's Phone Number Step 3

Step 3. Ask a friend to talk to the girl and scout out the situation

If you are very doubtful that the girl even thinks of you, then ask a friend to talk to her. Unless she decisively asserts that you are not at all interesting to her, then the outcome of the conversation should not particularly influence your decision. Perhaps she rarely thinks of you, since you have never had the courage to speak to her.

  • Choose a friend you can trust. If his words sound strange or unacceptable to a girl, then he can ruin all your chances. It is important that he inadvertently mentions you in the conversation and draws attention to the girl's reaction.
  • A girl can treat you with more respect if you directly ask her for a phone number. Intelligence can give you confidence, but it can also create unnecessary stress in such a simple situation.
Ask for a Girl's Phone Number Step 4
Ask for a Girl's Phone Number Step 4

Step 4. Understand that such a request is not a marriage proposal

Even if you have a girl's phone number, it doesn't mean that you will ask her out on a date. This is just an attempt to forge closer contact and develop relationships in the future.

This fact should also give you confidence and reduce stress. Of course, in essence, this is evidence of your interest, but so far such a request does not mean anything else

Part 2 of 3: How to ask for a phone number

Ask for a Girl's Phone Number Step 5
Ask for a Girl's Phone Number Step 5

Step 1. Walk up to the girl and start a conversation

No need to run up and immediately ask for a phone number. Try to strike up a conversation first. Discuss a new movie or TV show. Ask how her day is going. The topic of conversation can be anything, but it is important not to complicate it.

  • The conversation will also help you probe the ground. In the case of short answers, it may turn out that the girl is not interested in you, while detailed answers and counter questions may indicate the opposite.
  • If a girl laughs at your jokes (not even very funny), she probably liked you and she will not refuse to tell you her phone number.
Ask for a Girl's Phone Number Step 6
Ask for a Girl's Phone Number Step 6

Step 2. Express an idea to continue communication in the future

Try to touch on a topic that needs to be developed in a different setting. If you study together, then we can say that sometimes you find it difficult to cope with your homework and you would not refuse help. If you work together, suggest having dinner or coffee together sometime.

Again, notice how she reacts when asked to meet in an unfamiliar setting. A smile, a twinkle in her eyes, or an intention to correct her hair will indicate that the girl is flattered by your attention

Ask for a Girl's Phone Number Step 7
Ask for a Girl's Phone Number Step 7

Step 3. Ask for a phone number

Don't beat around the bush for too long, or you will show your insecurity. Use a simple phrase like, "May I ask for your phone number?" People tend to complicate things because of the potential hint of a possible relationship, but things are easier if you act directly.

  • If you want to avoid unnecessary stress, then try to get down to business. It is better to ask right away than trying to get a phone number through friends or by participating in group projects.
  • Try to speak clearly. This question is the focus of your entire conversation, so speak confidently and clearly. The girl shouldn't ask you to repeat the question.

Part 3 of 3: How to contact a girl for the first time

Ask for a Girl's Phone Number Step 8
Ask for a Girl's Phone Number Step 8

Step 1. Send your message

Today, a message will turn out to be a much more viable option than a surprise call. You can hide the awkwardness in the message. Try to continue your last conversation or start a new conversation.

  • Don't just write hello. Take the initiative and write a message that triggers a conversation. You are responsible for initiating the conversation.
  • At the very beginning, try to joke, not discuss serious topics and be yourself. It is not at all necessary for a girl to mistake you for a person who you are not.
Ask for a Girl's Phone Number Step 9
Ask for a Girl's Phone Number Step 9

Step 2. It is not necessary to immediately invite the girl out on a date

If a girl gave you her phone number, this does not mean that she is certainly interested in you as a romantic partner. So, she may perceive you as a friend, or she may simply decide not to refuse.

Chat for a while to get a sense of the girl's opinion of herself. Continue conversations at school or work, and regularly write or call on the phone

Ask for a Girl's Phone Number Step 10
Ask for a Girl's Phone Number Step 10

Step 3. Do not rush to touch on controversial or serious topics

Try to have a neutral conversation until you get to know each other better. Topics for discussion:

  • TV serials;
  • films;
  • a family;
  • dreams and plans for the future;
  • funny stories.
Ask for a Girl's Phone Number Step 11
Ask for a Girl's Phone Number Step 11

Step 4. At the right time, ask the girl out on a date, if you have such a desire

Most likely, the reason for finding out the girl's phone number was your romantic interest. You don't have to wait too long to ask her out on a date. This can be the first step towards a romantic relationship.


  • Discuss topics that the girl is interested in to avoid embarrassment.
  • Don't wait too long, but take your time. Girls do not like procrastination if the right moment has already come.
  • If a girl uses kissing emoticons in her messages, she expects the same response from you! Keep track of the number of emoticons. Later, she will surely analyze your messages with her friends!
  • Don't interrupt your girlfriend when talking on the phone.


  • If the girl did not respond to the message, then the number may be fictitious or she is simply not interested in you.
  • Re-read your messages before sending so as not to write anything unnecessary. Correct the message if it is ambiguous.

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